We all have one… most likely more than one. You know, those people in your life that you HAVE TO love, or at least get along with. It may be an in-law, a sibling, an aunt, a parent, people at work or church or maybe even a child.

They are those people that seem to be so full of pride, making their way known to all, being selfish as they put their needs ahead of everyone else. Or they may be that one who is always complaining, finding fault in people or even manipulating others so they come out on top.

All of us have those people, the ones that walk into a room and push your button just for kicks, or so it seems.

God brings us these people for several reasons.

As Sandpaper

When we start out in life we are a rough piece of wood. As life goes on God’s brings sandpaper into our life to smooth us out, to take our rough edges off so that we can be a beautiful, useful piece of wood.

I love my hardwood floors. They are strong and durable, they take a LOT of abuse and bring much beauty to our home. I especially love that they are low maintenance. They hold no odors or dirt like a carpet does… they are very forgiving.

My floors would not be pleasant to walk on if they were rough cut, un-sanded and not sealed. Our feet would be full of splinters and everything would get hung up on them… they would be painful!

Rough lumber is not meant to run your hand along… you can not be close to it without getting hurt. In order to have relationships, long lasting relationships, we need to be smooth… useful and forgiving, just as my floors are forgiving of the abuse they endure.

Relationships at all levels are CONSTANT sandpaper in our life. The question is, will you allow the Master Carpenter to smooth you out or will you be the one inflicting splinters to everyone that comes close?

It’s Not Personal

As I struggle with the difficult people in my life I have to remember that their smashing my button really has little to do with ‘me’. Their attitude and obnoxious behavior is not necessarily an attack on me.

• Your child sins and struggles because they are a sinner, not because they want to ruin your day.
• Your husband irritates you because he is human… a man (not a woman).
• Your mother-in-law rubs against your grain because her worldview is different than yours, most likely not because she hates you.

There are also different personalities. How we approach a situation may not be how someone else is designed (or been taught) to approach it. This is even more evident in how we react to situations, especially conflict. Just because I am an introvert does not mean that I am a snob, and because you are an extrovert does not mean that you are a glory hog… we are all wired differently for a purpose… God’s purpose.

To Know Him

Anytime there is conflict, whether it is justified or not, we need to remember how often we are difficult and offensive towards a holy and perfect God.

Whenever we deal with conflict or sin with others we need to remember our own sin.

We forget how patient God is with us and our repeated sins. We forget how merciful and loving God is as we loose our temper again, or neglect our duty to serve others… or even in our pride as we believe we have things all figured out.

So Why the Unlovable?

• To make us more like Him. As we work through conflict we remember Jesus settled the conflict of LIFE and death.
• To refine us, sand us into His image, to be used for His glory!
• So we can love as He loves.
• To remember He is God and we are not. We don’t change people, but we can love people.

As a VERY last resort, distance yourself from situations that you can not resolve. We can not run away from most people, but we can keep our button out of reach and love from a distance. (2 Timothy 2:23-24) Some times the best way to love people is to sincerely pray for them from a distance.

 

For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? Matthew 5:46

Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:23-26