Emma spent the week week with Josh’s mom in Florida. I think this was her first time away from home by herself for an extended period of time. It was a great time for her and his mom to get to know each other. Josh is off in SC working the apprenticeship program.
I guess you could say that we do a combination of courting and dating. We believe there should be heavy family involvement, as far as spending lots of time together. Anyone can put on a pretty face and a pleasant attitude for a few hours for a date, but to spend hours (sometimes days) at home, with family members that know how to push buttons, it’s hard to fake it there.
When a couple spends time together in each other’s homes with family members they are much more likely to see the real person, you can observe:
- How do they respond to conflict with family? This shows how they will handle conflict in marriage.
- How do they treat their parents? This will reflect how they will treat their spouse.
- Are they helpful around the house regardless of who is there? This may show if they have a tendency to be lazy or servant hearted.
- How do they treat children and animals?
There needs to be a lot of time spent with family. Whether we like it or not most of us carry a lot of family traits into our own marriages.
That doesn’t mean we can’t change things, hopefully each generation will stand on the shoulders of their parents and improve as they grow in wisdom. But if a young man is considering a young lady that is disrespectful to her parents, you can pretty much bank on her being disrespectful to her husband. If a young man is lazy at home, more than likely he will be lazy in his own home.
Although we embrace courtship, we do allow our young adults to spend time alone. They need to get to know each other. If a son or daughter is ready for a relationship with the intention of marriage then there needs to be trust and respect there. If they have a rebellious heart then they are not ready for marriage.
We do not do casual relationships/dating. A girl’s heart is too important for that. If a guy is not ready or serious about marriage then he shouldn’t come knocking.
Our young adults do go on dates, but we also know where they are and they have some time limits. We don’t allow time at home alone.
I think the key is to know where their hearts are. If both young people are committed to purity and there are boundaries set, usually by the girl’s dad, then there needs to be trust given.
Each family is different, each child is different, so there is no formula. It all boils down to praying and asking God for wisdom. When trust is earned, then you give it, but also remembering that there needs to be accountability because all of us are capable of falling into sin.
In other happenings, Olivia has been gone too with other commitments, so it has just been Jeff, the 3 little kiddos and me. It was strange sitting on the pew in church with just the 5 of us. But it has been really good too, as the kids have looked more to us for everything.
I took them to Homestead Hallow for their first time. This is a huge festival with an arts and crafts show of over 300 vendors.
It also has old pioneer buildings, equipment and exhibits.
This was perfect for out Little House in the Big Woods book we are reading.
The Smoke House
This guy grows his own straw to make these brooms.
There was wood carving, lye soap making, a blacksmith and a lot more…
And the best fudge!
This was about 2 minutes after we left!
God is good, all the time!