Disclaimer: This post is not meant to discredit real abuse. Real abuse happens within all walks of life. It does need to be addressed and dealt with - with punishment for the offender and healing for the very real victim. But this post is a satire about a life that often seems hard and unfair. What child does not think life is unfair at times? 
Six years have passed since I graduated from what I have been trained to call formal education. I was taught that education was about more than the books and grades, so we called our curriculum, our scheduled learning, “formal education”. It is all documented in those records we kept, just in case anyone accused us of not doing real school.
It took me most of the last six years to really understand what was done to me during those years of “home schooling“. Firstly, and most importantly, I was never allowed to stop learning. How cruel is that? I was never allowed to shut the book, drop the pencil, pack it up and go home because I’d served my time for the day. We, my siblings and I, were “encouraged” to be always learning, to find the “why” for everything. Even now as an adult, my mind seeks out reason for everything.
That said, when it was decent weather, we were forced outside. We had to go find leaves or bugs for a unit study, (what’s up with “home schooling” and unit studies? As if everything is connected… gah.) Oh, and if the old lady who lived up the street needed help carrying in her groceries, we were forced to stop doing math and go help her. Math! We stopped math class to help people.
One of the very worst things about “home schooling” was the socialization. Surprisingly enough. Most people assume because “home schoolers” school at home there isn’t any opportunity to interact with other people. I wish that were true.
You see, I’m an introvert. I HATE talking to new people, I HATE HATE HATE speaking in front of a crowd. I loath the thought of small talk. But when you homeschool you have to interact with everybody, your family, the other families in your co-op, the people at soccer practice, your voice teacher, your piano teacher, the people at the gym and Wal-Mart; you are almost always surrounded by people of varying ages and ethnicities.
My Mom was a special kind of cruel, you see, she MADE me take public speaking, knowing I hated it! She signed me up for speech classes and public speaking competitions. Do you know what that did to me as an adult? It removed every excuse my introverted-self had for shying away from leadership responsibilities in business, in charity work, even in sports. Now when the need arises for a speaker, for a leader, my training, my conditioning kicks in and because I’m able, it’s expected that I contribute.
Homeschooling forced me to become a well rounded and thoughtful adult. It stole from me the typical teen experiences. I was never bullied, which from what I’ve gathered is a character building experience. I never had the opportunity to spend hours (weeks, months, years) crushing on a guy I’d never really end up with. I never had the chance to get caught up in high school drama or participate in trivial gossip like a normal girl. Instead my time was spent taking care of people, of learning practical boring things like cooking and quilting. So now as an adult I can feed you and keep you warm, but I’m a little awkward around shallow people.
I have my mother to thank for every twang of guilt when I don’t do a job completely, I mean, who does everything completely anyway?
I have no idea how I survived the mental trauma of being raised by two people who honestly thought it best for me to pursue a few deep relationships versus having a ton of friends. Like, totally not cool.
We had “free time” in the afternoons. I remember being kinda lost during that time. We could go do whatever we wanted. How does anyone think that is healthy? Shouldn’t kids be micro managed? I mean, do you have any idea the mischief we got into? We built ti-pis in the woods (where we could have gotten bit by a tick and contracted Lyme disease!) and rode our bikes without helmets.
We were forced to work. Physically. This is a dark part of my sordid tale. We were forced to help with family business. When the family catered an event, we kids were right there, cutting vegetables and washing dishes. When my father needed an extra hand on a home improvement job we were there to hand him tools, load and unload the truck, sweep floors, etc… see physical work I tell ya!
Sure, I learned a lot and by the time I applied for my first job. I was hired the next day because my resume (which learning how to write a resume was a mandatory part of high school) looked fantastic. But what my resume doesn’t tell you is that my parents saw through every detail of my work. They started me on chores when I was tall enough to reach the sink, with the help of a stool. As a 6 year old I had to do extra chores for any sort of extra cash. Allowance? Oh no, we were told that, “you work, you eat”. I don’t know where they found such capitalistic propaganda. I don’t care that that is how the real world operates, I was just a kid. I would rather have thought that everything would come to me because I was special and unique. I think I could have coped with the harsh realities of life if I had been sheltered from them till I was an adult.
Oh, and I never go to eat cafeteria food. Ever. I had to eat things like salads and homemade bread with strawberry preserves. To this day I’m a food snob and it’s “home schooling” to blame.
So what does a “home school” survivor look like? In my case it looks like a 23 year old with a plan to build a cooking school for kids who age out of foster care. It looks like a girl who loves her parents, who finds her worth in Christ, not fashion or fads and whose best friend is her sister. It looks like a girl who shows up early and stays late for both of her jobs. It looks like a young adult who doesn’t disdain authority. It looks like a happy, healthy, hard working, humorous, semi-normal woman. Which, I guess isn’t so terrible.
Written by Olivia Brodock, author of No More Wasted Years, and is a chef, peer counselor and board member at a local crisis pregnancy center, writer, missionary and visionary. She lives on beautiful Straight Mountain in North Alabama, where she attempts to carry out the Great Commission with her family.
Chris Barnes says:
Apparently, home schooling also taught you how to thoughtfully compose a well-written article. You poor tortured child.
Linda Hyatt says:
Well, Olivia, you certainly got everyone talking! What a lot of different opinions. I believe it is a wonderful article and entertaining. I went to a public school and I have nine children. I didn’t want them to experience what I saw in school (the bullying, surpressing individuality and creativeness), etc, so I homeschooled them. They are now adults and teens and they are more accomplished than if they had gone to school simply because they had the time to pursue their interests (can’t practice several hours of cello, for example if you sit in a brick building for most of the day). If I had to do it all again, I would do it the same. I do think some wonderful people come out of the school system, I just wonder what they could have accomplished had they been allowed to follow their interests freely.
KF says:
I wasn’t, nor are my children, home schooled. I went to a school with lots of different people, not only “like-minded” people. I learned early to be respectful, tolerant, and humble. I developed a love for my entire community (not just our family business or our immediate neighbors). I learned that when I put my mind and effort to work I could promote change in that very community well beyond my insulated word. My parents were involved in my education as I am in my own children’s. Their teachers and I will see them do great things because of the lessons that they have learned alongside other children. I will see them obtain a degree in higher education, evolve as thinkers, be kind, and change the world. These accomplishments are not limited to home schooled persons only.
As I read this post, I was sad to see your bitterness veiled in sarcasm. It appears that you have a disdainful attitude toward those not exactly like yourself. I am certain that my own children are more respectful, tolerant, and humble than you have demonstrated in this post. Indeed your post is an outstanding example of exactly what you say you aren’t - a bully.
Jane Eby says:
I’m sorry you don’t “get” what this young lady is saying. Since you have never homeschooled or been homeschooled, you have never been subject to the criticism and bullying homeschoolers have received. We are blessed to live in a country where we have a choice as to how to educate our children. Just because a family chooses to homeschool does not mean that their children are isolated, not socialized, or receive an inferior education - all criticisms made by people who know nothing about homeschoolers. Studies have shown that homeschoolers as a group score better on nationalized tests. There must be a reason for this. I think the point of Ms. Brodock’s piece was to show the homeschool deniers that indeed homeschooling is a viable option that turns out well-educated citizens ready to serve and succeed in the world today. I am sad that you do not see the truth and humor in this piece and your accusatory tone towards the facts that Ms. Brodock is sharing about her own personal experience.
Lila says:
Actually no, studies have not shown homeschoolers outperform public schoolers. What has been shown is that self-selecting homeschoolers who chose to take the same end of year tests as public schoolers and chose to share their results with one homeschool advocacy group (which, by the way, does not try and verify the test results given to them) had better results than the average of all public school students. This isn’t comparing like with like, as a basic understanding of statistics should tell you. When you compare a subset of one group with the whole of another group, you do not get statistically accurate or usable results.
George Hall says:
I can tell you this: my 8 year old son is homeschooled. While it can be a struggle to make sure he gets the so-called “socialization” he needs he is THE most social 8 year old I know, and have ever known. He is also very mature for a child his age. While he loves his sharks,trains and dinosaurs he also gets himself up on Sunday morning, makes his own breakfast and is out the door waiting on the church van to pick him up. We don’t make him do this, he wants to do this, yet I know of no other child anywhere near his age who is this mature. We had him tested, psychologically and academically, a year ago, because we wanted to make sure that we were at least meeting, if not exceeding, all that public school can offer. He came out of the testing with flying colors. He knew things that no public school would care to teach an 8 year old child. He knew why he was being tested, and had no problem with it. When I was in public school we were to taught to memorize useless facts (they’re still useless) that had no rhyme or reason to them other than for the sake of proving academic proweress by being able to memorize something. He doesn’t have to waste time memorizing stuff he doesn’t understand, his time is spent reading stuff that matters and that is engaging. A funny thing happens when you are reading real books that don’t have “test questions” at the end of chapters. When I was in school I was bullied and wasted much time ‘fitting in’. My son has real friends who are more interested in sharing real interests with him. Every weekend my son, as part of his schooling, does a painting. Anyone who creates art knows that the actual process of creating is mostly a technical matter. The real difficulty is in the thinking up of a composition or the time spent studying subject matter. At the time of this writing he is using oil pastels. Sometimes I even join in with him to create my own paintings. I could go on and on about how much of a blessing (sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, lol) homeschooling has been for our family, but let me close by saying that my wife and I know with full confidence that our son will have a future we never could have had, and as for the positive impact this has had on our family as a whole we wouldn’t have it any other way. — homeschooling dad in Central Kentucky
Mary Allison says:
Ah, and I see that you are so very humble and kind, Ma’am. A shining example of what this young lady was trying to say she’s not. And she’s right. She was merely saying that the system is inadequate, and since it produced you, I think she is right.
JRA says:
She was simply responding to all of the boundless stereotypical ideas that are constantly propagated by certain elements of our society — ones like “homeschoolers only associate with ‘like-minded’ people.” Your response thoroughly butchered a strawman. There is nothing in the article that states or suggests that “these accomplishments are… limited to home-schooled persons.” Sarcastic? Perhaps. Bitter? Sorry, I’m not seeing it. Disdainful? Perhaps a smidgen toward those who propagate the stereotypes. Disrespectful? Intolerant? Maybe you should quote something from her actual words instead of read between the lines. Bully? It would seem that you have completely redefined the word.
The only thing I see is a very insecure reader — you. Incidentally, I was a product of the public school system and a public college. Valedictorian of a class of 335. National Merit Scholar. Ph. D. in Physics. Published in the top journals. I also home school my kids. Two Eagle Scouts. Two state science fair winners. College scholarships. But over and above my achievements, my kids are the kind who have made multiple trips to hellholes in Central America and Africa to help children on the streets. Public school taught me that achieving was everything. Homeschooling has allowed me to truly put learning in the context of making a difference in people’s lives rather than trying to put a spin on it when they come home.
kf says:
You need to read my comments more carefully. Better yet, read the original post. Olivia clearly thinks that she is superior to all not educated exactly as she was and makes every effort to slice others at the knees. If her goal was to garner sympathy for her and other home schoolers who feel that they are having to “defend” their choices regarding education, she certainly failed. A thoughtful, respectful approach would have generated a very different and productive dialogue. Her “essay” doesn’t move people with different experiences together. She divides them.
I will say I was intrigued by her insular experiences and looked around the rest of her website in order to understand her more. Apparently her type of home schooling and life skill priorities suggest that there are different skills for “girls” and “guys” that are remarkably traditionalist (but hey there are good decorating techniques for cakes!). Olivia’s book encourages young women “like me (her)” to not pursue the “normal” challenge of more education but to prepare for the “extradorinary” future by becoming experts in laundry skills. Sadly, I think that it makes her another uneducated woman in Alabama who will be at best defined by her marriage (if that happens for her), her bundt cakes, and being a good caregiver to her Mama and her pastor.
Harsh you say - sure it is. Since I too am an Alabamanian I see her everyday in the grocery store or the post office or at the Chik-fil-a (wait, Olivia is a food snob so might not be there) or the Walmart. I see her single-page resume for a secretary position in my business filed in the “no” pile and ultimately the shredder because she has no advanced education that may be of benefit in my highly technical scientific business where we need someone who speaks our language.
I suspect that the educational experiences and priorities Olivia extolls as superior are not ones that you might agree with. You appear to have remarkable, accomplished kids who, thankfully, had your achievement based educational experiences to provide expanding opportunities and direction. My children (educated in Alabama public schools) are heading to Stanford next year and hoping for Yale the next where they plan on making incredible scientific and medical discoveries. They are girls and can’t bake worth a darn but sure can splice an atom if needed.
Ditget says:
I am thoroughly surprised that you missed the intention of this post in all its entirety. It isn’t made to “slice people at the knees” nor to show how “homeschoolers are surperior”. I am a homeschooler myself and it is funny to me when I read this because I grew up doing many of the same exact things. it’s not made for people who grew up in public schools. It’s written for homeschoolers. If she was trying to convince people to homeschool their kids she wouldn’t have written it like this. When I was younger I thought many of these things were just hard and annoying. However now that I am older I see the result of my upbringing. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. If you have THE TIME to be writing negative, derogatory, and simply arrogant comments then you should be spending it on something positive.
Neale says:
There are many different definitions of being accomplished in life. Your view is clearly based on the world’s definition. Growing up, I was always told that to be somebody, I had to get a well paying job. That was bar my parent’s had set for being successful. So growing up, I went to a public school all my life. Ironically enough, my education for my younger years was slighted because I had a twin brother. Because he is a boy and I am a girl, AND they never let twins be in the same classroom, they always put him in the smart kid class and me in the not as smart class – and only because he is a boy. Moving up to junior high and high school though (and it being one of the top 100 schools in the nation), my education was plenty challenging as I had to catch up from all the things I never learned in grade school and try to learn new and challenging things at this school. Since failure wasn’t an option, I survived and even thrived. In my quest to be somebody, I then received my undergraduate degree and my master’s degree. I got a well paying job. Yeah, I am finally somebody.
Then accomplished girl meets and boy and she marries him! And they have a baby. You know what I realized the day I met my daughter and held her in my arms? My life original goals no longer mattered. I had achieved what the world said was most important. The world can have it. I quit my job (a great, well-paying job with excellent benefits) and chose to stay home. I made more money than husband at the time that I quit so we were very poor! But I wouldn’t have changed it one bit. And because I love to learn and grow, I did take up things like baking, learning an instrument, volunteering, gardening, crocheting (I could knit and cross stitch long before my master’s degree) and just wanted to enjoy learning new things. While it seems like you think these skills are only for bimbos, I just want you know that well education women may still have a desire to learn new things and these were things I chose to learn.
Furthermore, I did choose to homeschool my kids. You would be amazed at the number of people I have met who homeschool and most of them have a four year degrees. Very educated people are homeschooling their kids, not only the people who you see as unaccomplished. For me, I have a ton of reasons. But the one that may strike home the most on your radar is time. I wanted the time. When I think I about time and life, if I am healthy and live a long time, I might make it to 100. If not, then maybe I will only make it to 50. But chances are good I will live around 75-80 years. My kids will only be young and living in my house for approximately 25% of my life. It would be a waste to have them gone for hours upon hours every day. I don’t want my kids to go to school for 6 hours a day, spend an hour or so on the bus and then come home with homework to complete after that. We play sports and evening activities. So we really wouldn’t have time for much family togetherness once we include showers and dinner.
To me, it seems like you have some bitterness toward the author. You can say what you like and you can feel how you want. For me, I am living this lifestyle (and homeschooling is definitely a lifestyle) and can really appreciate the points she brings up and makes fun of. Many people who homeschool do worry about their kid’s education, and it is probably even more so than you would since you have a school telling you what your kid will learn. For homeschoolers, they are trying to tailor an excellent education for their kids and they want to make sure it is top notch in their eyes. To me, I can relate to this article well as it touches many areas of my life that I do think about in ways that you might not view them.
Clifton Murphy says:
The air must surely be thin up there. Perhaps if you could come down off of your self-installed pedestal and join the “common folk” you might understand this is a satire?
You allude continuously to the misconception that home schooled children do not attain higher education when this is in no way true. I think it brings you some sort of satisfaction to bring up a resume in your “no” pile. When you and I both know that you have never hired a secretary with an MA degree in your life. You know, because those with MA degrees type so much faster than those without.
I think you are typical of the liberal minded “the world owes me something” mentality. I believe you think you are superior through some sense of self entitlement. I believe you are rude and a snob. I believe you have relationships but they are shallow, after all who could like a person truly with your attitude?
Now, of course, all i can go on is the drivel you have written in these pages. I may be wrong. If you think I am wrong, perhaps you should revisit what you have written and interpret it from outside yourself. Something I’m sure you’ve not done many times in your life.
P.S. I hold two AS degrees and my wife is currently working on her MS degree in nursing with a 4.0 gpa. She will be an NP and no longer an RN in 18 months. All this while working full time, taking care of children and “baking”. We are both part of the home school community and so are our children, who will attend college and most likely a year before yours do.
kf says:
I agree that there are lots of home schooled kids who go on to higher education and are successful. I was highlighting that the author, Olivia, did not pursue higher education (not even some college) and importantly promotes this path to young women. I wouldn’t hire Olivia or anyone without some university education into my technical business at any level. Its not about how quickly they type. It IS about understanding the words they are typing.
Heather Sahagian says:
How wonderful that your daughters can splice an atom. Not everyone wants to splice atoms. Not everyone wants advanced skills to work in a highly technical scientific business like yours. It’s insulting for you to criticize the author’s decisions to live her life on her terms and then, in the same breath, suggest she live life the way YOU think she should. Perhaps for Olivia, being a caregiver to her mama and pastor are as meaningful and important to her as splicing atoms is, obviously, to you (I mean, your daughters). Rather than being a hypocrite (feeling judged by Olivia because she judgied non-homeschoolers, while judging Olivia for judging non-homeschoolers and being a homeschooler), why not celebrate the fact that we, as Americans, have the privilege of choosing the life we want to lead.
Rolland Latta says:
Damn!!!! you should give her some cream for that burn!!!!!
seems the one thing her home school didn’t teach her was humility… that’s one skill you learn in traditional schools when you open your mouth and someone shuts it for you.
frank horvath says:
I like your comment my sister home schooled her kids and they are okay but I went to a great catholic school got a great education .. I would not have finished hs if I had not gone there I have life long friends and great memories but I agree with you most home school people seem to knock the system its not great but it serves its purpose
Aubryn says:
I am sorry to see your sarcasm veiled in bitterness. I am sorry that your parents did not shoulder the responsibility of educating their own children, but instead left that to the state and their neighbors, the taxpayers. I am sorrier still that you continued this dependency on the state with your own children.Perhaps that is where your sorry attitude came from.
Monica says:
KF: How very sad that you saw bitterness veiled in sarcasm, and a disdainful attitude toward others not exactly like yourself….perhaps a reflection of yourself in the mirror of life? I saw joy and love reflected with a satire sense of humor…sarcasm and poking fun of ones self and circumstances can only be funny when one is comfortable with ones self….flaws and all. Bully? Who was being bullied? We the very parents/homeschoolers that she is talking about. As a parent who educated our children, I thought this was very funny. If you look for “ugly”, you will find it everywhere and in everything….same with “lovely”. May you be given new eyes to see with joy, love, and grace. ❤
Jane Eby says:
Beautifully stated, Monica!
simsimi says:
Auch! Is that competition, mixed with “I’m better than you” and “don’t tell me you know better than me”?!?! I kind of….. feel its fragrance!!!! I also went to a school with lots of different people, in fact so different that three of my classmates got pregnant by the age of 16 and other two were lesbians at the age of 13 ; and that would not be all…I could go on about what they were doing at their parties and how would they treat those that did not the same as them - and please, don’t tell me your classmates were better than mine. I’m 33 now and I have four children of my own and I most certainly do not want their mind poisoned with such exemples of life. And…should I mention my teachers?!? No…sorry, but too many sad memories about them. If you can honestly say that you cherish all the things in your past and that there is nothing better you could possibly offer your children …..well, I just have to tell you, I could never say such thing!!! God bless you, Olivia Brodock!!!
Carol says:
Why is it that defending one perspective is often perceived as knocking the other? I saw nothing in this article that belittled public education in any way. Every issue was directly aimed at and answered the specific criticisms of homeschooling. That some of the advantages and disadvantages of either form of education will overlap is obvious. One of the defenses of public education that I most often see is that “not all public schools are like that” whenever a specific example is given of outrageous or unacceptable circumstances within a public school setting are presented. Maybe yours was all hunky dory, but mine certainly was not, and I will not be gambling my childrens’ future on whether our local public school is going to be ” one of the good ones”. Not to mention the specific advantages that are ONLY available to homeschooled children. Specifically, one on one attention and completely individualized instruction. Overcrowded classrooms are top on the list of what needs to be fixed in public education, and that is disputed by no one. This article defends without attacking, and your response (kf) certainly does not.
Donis says:
I was wondering whether or not we read the same article. I didn’t see any of the points you made in your comment. She was simply stating her own experiences and the experiences that many have concerning our US educational system. She didn’t say it but I will. Our educational system is definitely flawed. The majority of kids are not offered the opportunity to be educated. I retired in the school system and worked in the school system in numerous states in this country. Look at the statistics, we are in the bottom ranking. That’s what our school system has become, basically a laughing stock for the entire world. Listen to the news, if you have a problem with this young lady, or do a web search on how our system flounders. Kids in our school system across the country, are bullying, shooting, disrepecting teachers, other students, cyberbullying, etc. She is not veiled in sarcasm as you point out but in reality. Please open your eyes and see.
Ron Worman says:
My comment will most likely never be seen, being so far down the list. My circumstance is a little different. We started homeschooling my son Chadd following his fourth grade of public school. He was originally tagged “Autistic”, followed by other labels, placed in Special Ed. with mostly children that were physically or mentally challenged. He was cast aside as most of these unfortunate children are. He finally was recognized as “Asperger Syndrome”. He is now 21. He has very few friends his age, but interacts with most all adults demonstrating a degree of maturity, His primary interests were a bit miss-directed. His passion is military history, especially World War ll. He was recently interviewed by a panel of three Ranking West Point Graduates, one a 4.0. Chadd was recognized as a a’Word War ll” Expert. He knew answers to questions the examiners could not answer combined. He still lives at home, employed in Law Enforcement, and has a promising future. He has never smoked, sworn, drugs of any type, and free of tatoos. Has never missed or been late for a single day of work in the last year. A Proud Father
TJS says:
My siblings and I were homeschooled our whole lives too and I could write the same things you did! Thanks for the great article. Some of us are so very grateful for the sacrifice of our parents’ heart, money, time and many other things. My sister is a teacher, my brothers are both in college. I was prepared very well for life through homeschooling and I am homeschooling my own children!
Hannah Winters says:
Wow.thank you so much,Im a home schooled kid and this is everything I feel.Im glad somebody wrote this and made it known.You are one special person,thank you.
Melton says:
I love your story. Hoping for more to come. My daughter was homeschooled until high school. She is now a freshman at a community college (bound to be a nurse) and has her own stories to tell.Some of the great survival skills homeschooling has taught her are: saving time and money, staying humble, and being reasonable. We own a house. We have internet but no cable TV. We survived and stayed healthy without spending time (and money) watching ball games and soap operas. Yes, we cook our own food. Yes, we play musical instruments. Yes, we have time for ourselves and our friends. If homeschooling is a bad idea, we are in debt by now.
Jan says:
Loved this article. How could it attract haters? I was not homeschooled, and only homeschooled my son in high school so he wouldn’t drop out, but I appreciated everything I read here. I don’t think people who don’t homeschool understand the scope of what is learned by this type of education. I know most professional teachers have a bad attitude toward homeschooling, but I am a retired teacher (in a parochial school) and have had a few students join our class after parents decided the kids were at the point where the parents felt unable to teach them more advanced skills. It has been my experience that those kids for the most part had stronger academic and interpersonal skills than the others. Congratulations on “surviving” so well.
Steve G. says:
You started doing chores when you could reach the sink. Slacker. I had to do dishes when I had to stand on a chair to reach the sink.
Glad to hear you lived through it all. I don’t know how you are able to function in society without having gotten drunk and did drugs before your 14th birthday. Do your best to try and fit in somehow.
Michelle says:
Kids who are socializing with other kids are going to deal with gossip, peer pressure and cliques whether at coops, church groups, or scouts. It is a part of the human nature. Even porn has reared its ugly head in our coop.
Self righteous just wears me out. Can’t see where it is in the least “Christlike”
Bekah says:
This article is full of it lol I was homeschooled all 12 years and I will never advocate it. I understand results may very, and if you have the right parents then heck you might survive! But what about the homeschoolers I knew who were so sheltered and unsocialized they became mentally unstable? What about the ones like me who struggle with depression because I was not allowed to have my own opinions or choices? What about all the brainwashing that goes on? Did you ever stop to think about your own life choices? About the real world? Or is your life a cookie cutter of your parents? Like I said, results may very… I will be fair and say I knew homeschoolers who were fine because their parents did it right. But I also knew parents who used it to hide physical abuse.. I knew homeschoolers who had no social functions and will pretty much be a waste in society. It shouldn’t be allowed because some parents REALLY don’t know what to teach their kids and they end up not knowing the simplest of things. As for myself, well I like to think I did survive. I’m doing good. But I struggle with depression, anxiety, ADHD, and other problems. But I can function in the real world. Unfortunately, I can’t say that for the rest of the ppl I knew.
Donna says:
Respectfully, w/the wrong parents, these negatives can be found in brick & mortar schooled children as well. Look @ all the school shooting, by disturbed students. They weren’t homeschooled. Even the Sandy Hook shooter had spent more time in the gov’t school system than HS, & was removed due to his poor experiences. Unfortunately, the issues you mentioned can, do, & will exist no matter where children are schooled.
Katia says:
I completely agree. My parents are very traditional Catholic. I spent most of my teen years depressed. I wondered then, and still sometimes now, what I need to do to make/keep friends. I’m the oldest and my parents were always watching everything I did. More then guidance but control. It hurt my relationship with them. I started clinging to abusive boyfriends. Having sex at a young age. Became an alcoholic and got into drugs.
Lucky I turned it around and found value in myself when I took a semester abroad trip alone.
The one thing I think all parents need to realize is that children need to learn on their own. If you tell your daughter what she can and cannot do with her body, you are opening up the door for a boyfriend to tell her what she can and can’t do. Make sure they are in activities outside of other homeschoolers (no one will hire someone who has awkward social skills). And don’t try to hide things from them. Be open because there will be less “rebellion” later.
simsimi says:
Dearest Katia, I am convinced that EVERY PERSON has a story to tell. God works in us through the life He gave us. You did not turn around your life and found value because of nothing - God was there opening your mind for you!!! We humans are capable of unspeakable evil - just think of yourself when you are angry or someone provokes you to the limit. Hell is the only place where the presence of God will be no more - that is the way things look without God; they look like hell!!! What I want for my children above anything else - diplomas, high education, degrees, career or wealth, is for them to know God and to understand the purpose of life! My only hope is in God that He will give me the wisdom to know how to treat my children.
Clifton Murphy says:
last time i checked any peer reviewed medical text, home schooling was not a valid cause of any of the conditions you listed. Such as ADHD (most likely due to you being given potocin during childbirth), depression (caused by a chemical imbalance), anxiety (caused by brain anatomy or chemical changes), etc. Stop blaming your mental illness on your parents, and you may make some progress towards healing.
Reference:
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-anxiety-disorders
What Causes Anxiety Disorders?
The exact cause of anxiety disorders is unknown; but anxiety disorders — like other forms of mental illness — are not the result of personal weakness, a character flaw, or poor upbringing. As scientists continue their research on mental illness, it is becoming clear that many of these disorders are caused by a combination of factors, including changes in the brain
Gina says:
I thoroughly enjoyed this article. It’s how I hope my daughter explains her homeschooled years when she is an adult. We are trying very hard to raise a responsible, caring and well-adjusted person. Do we require a lot? Yes. But she is more than capable of completing the tasks assigned… whether it is actual school work, chores or helping others.
And Bekah, I am sorry you feel your homeschool experience was so horrible. Perhaps you were abused. My heart goes out to you if that is the case. But please don’t think that is because you were homeschooled. I also struggle with depression, anxiety, OCD and other problems which I cannot blame on being homeschooled - primarily because I WAS NOT HOMESCHOOLED. In fact, the majority of people I know with problems like that were not homeschooled. Some of my problems come from a mother who also struggles with these issues. Some come from bullying in public school. And some are simply because that is the way my brain is wired. I urge you to get help to deal with these things.
As for my daughter, she attended public school for the first two years. She hated it. She was too far ahead of her classmates. That was my fault, you see. I knew how smart she was and expected her to be good in school so I made her read and watch educational things on television (how could I be so cruel?) She began coming home from school and BEGGING us to homeschool her. By the end of her last year she began getting in trouble in class because she was bored and would talk… and she had her own opinion of what should and shouldn’t be done. Even her TEACHER said homeschooling was a great option for her.
She is now the happy, well-adjusted child she was before public school. We make sure she “socializes” (I really hate that word) with others. And we expect a lot in that area, too. She talks to kids her age, younger children and older ones. She carries on logical conversations that leave adults in amazement. How many 8-year-olds can say they have friends from 3 to 93? She is an extremely outgoing, vivacious and bright child who doesn’t know a stranger. Public school was actually taking that away from her and homeschooling brought it back.
I love homeschooling!
Sarah Villa says:
Thank you for this satirical piece on home schooling. My daughter and I loved it.
Michelle says:
Sweet article, love to hear about all your experiences
Donna says:
I love this article of your experiences being homeschooled. I was never homeschooled nor my children. My youngest child suffered so in the public school system. Had I not been divorced, I feel she would have done well had I taken this route.
Michelle says:
I wasn’t homeschooled but my niece and nephew were in the 80’s, mine have been for the last 20 years and my bother niece and nephew are currently being homeschooled.
Frankly none have bullied for their choices. My brother and sister in law had to answer a lot of questions because no one had ever heard of such a thing. You all are hanging with the wrong folks if you are being hassled.
Satire that puts others in a bad lot isn’t exactly a function of the fruits of the spirit.
Elisa says:
Olivia, this is wonderful! Your light hearted humor was lost on the readers who could not see this was a rebuttal for the “against-homeschooling” crowd from the start. Don’t let the haters discourage you, and please keep writing & being awesome in general!
I loved home-schooling my children, and I’m thoroughly enjoying watching the completely unpredictable and creative paths they, and their homeschooled friends, are choosing to take in life as adults. Clearly, it’s a great choice for many families.
Thanks for reminding me of the wonderful and unique journey we took together. I can’t believe I have such fond memories of chores and all of the other random things I “forced” on my kids! <3
Melissa says:
Sounds like you had a great family and a great education, Olivia. Home schooling is wonderful when done properly. Sadly, some people abuse the privilege to home school and use it to cover up child abuse and rotten parenting. That makes me sad, but I still support the freedom to home school.
Didi says:
Does the author have a good job? With benefits and a promising future? That’s how I judge the success of her homeschooling.
I followed the link here from Gen Cedar. The oldest daughter there graduated homeschool and has never held a real job in her life. Never earned her own living. Never lived away from home. That is a homeschool fail, IMO.
Kristina says:
Thank you so much for writing this. As a brand new homeschool mom, I feel like this is the most well written article highlighting the benefits of homeschooling. I will be sharing with everyone! Thank you!
R Reagan says:
As a pastor who home educated his own children I will first to say home education is not for everyone. When families came to me for counsel I would make clear that the parents had the privilege and responsibility to seek God’s leading on how to educate their children. Regardless of the chosen method I told them to be involved. Be informed and be an advocate for your children. I thank God for how my children have turned out. My youngest just graduated from college. All four attended post secondary schooling in the public sector. They all know how to think, work, produce and look for the Lord’S leading. I believe they would have done just as well in private or public school, but that was not how God led us. Parents, seek God for your children. Take His leadership and don’t simply take the easiest or “normal” route. Education should be life long but it needs the right start for your student… And, BTW, not all your children need to fit the same form. You may choose home education and then see the need to move one or more of your children to public or private education. Be informed, know what your children are being taught, and advocate!
Michelle says:
Hanging with homeschoolers isn’t going to keep your kids from being exposed to all of the “poisonous” people out there. By highschool kids should have a basis for their faith and an answer other than “mommy won’t let me or someone made that son a worse one to commit” it saddens me that people see the world as something to be afraid of. Jesus didn’t see it that way. I know too many homeschool parents who thought that if they did everything right…wore the right jumper…bought he right curriculum…avoided the right tv shows that all of their kids’ lives would be better than their own, they wouldn’t make mistakes, or bad choices. After being around it for 40 years now I can say that isn’t the case and that the belief system makes bad even worse.
I agree with the pastor who stated that there aren’t any perfect cookie cutter choices that will guarantee that your kids’ paths will be smooth. There sure aren’t any guarantees that they won’t question, and blunder their way through this sun filled world. Not even if their momma’s make them homemade bread. That bread also doesn’t prevent pregnancy or gender issues.
I’m for homeschooling. As I stated earlier I have mine from the beginning. I have one last son, aged 15 here. He is solid. But as my middle son leaves for the marines I am questioning putting him into school. Not for socialization. That happened at 5 but for social. To have people to talk with who are more interesting than his mom and a more varied group of friends. Frankly I don’t care much for the current batch and they are all homeschooled. They are as cliquey, and snotty as their ps peers. There is language and there was porn brought into our lives.
You brag about being taught to think how about being taught compassion, and kindness for those who aren’t related. Lol and ftr, my sister is my best friend too and we managed to pull that off even having been raised in a single parent home with a working mom and public school. You probably wouldn’t have deemed us appropriate.
Olivia Brodock says:
I don’t have the time to respond to each and every comment, though some of them would be challenging and worth while discussions. This is my response to throwingoutbathwater’s post, it should answer any questions you have and allow you to see my intentions a bit more clearly. I wasn’t dissing your daughters who splice atoms. That’s a totally rad skill.
“Hi, I’m Olivia. I wrote From A Homeschooler Who Obviously Survived. Let me start by saying thank you for shedding light on abuse. Period. The Gothard scandal primarily. Horrible things happened, things I wouldn’t know about if it weren’t for voices like yours and Chad Harris (a fb friend of mine). So, thank you for fighting that battle and shining a spotlight into a dark corner of the homeschooling world.
Secondly, the image. I had never read HomeschoolersAnonymous before my post went viral. So claiming that I stole the picture to stir up trouble, or put myself in the middle of the fray, is simply not true. I understand how you came to that conclusion, but it makes it no less false. I Google searched “homeschool victim”, clicked images and it popped up. As soon as I realized it was a HA picture it was replaced.
Thirdly, when you say “that is precisely what the author intended”, I did intend for the image to set context. But the context was this; I’d read a post from a homeschooler who was claiming to be abused because she had to wear hand me downs… The problem I had with her, the reason I wrote the post, wasn’t to make light of real abuse but to shame the people who are claiming to be abused with things that are not abuse. Does that make sense? To me, it’s like having to wait in line at the doctors office when you are really sick or have a broken arm when there are people there, taking up valuable attention with little cuts and scrapes.
I am not a homeschool blogger. I occasionally write. I don’t keep up with everything in the homeschool world because I work three jobs and have no time. But I am, or at least I do earnestly try, to be loving and sensitive. I have served meals at homeless women’s shelters, I am on the board of a crisis pregnancy center, I have adopted siblings who were abused before they came to us, I have friends who were physically and mentally abused. I know what abuse is and that is why I wrote the post, because I also know what it is not. The tone I was going for was more “stop whining about a paper cut, because there are others with broken bones” vs. “abuse is laughable, it doesn’t happen”.
Thank you, again, for fighting the good fight. If I had intended it as you portray I intended it, then I would applaud your post. I get it. But I’m not half as clever as you give me credit for and not half as half witted as a post with those intentions would insinuate.”
Oh, and P.S. I love Chick-Fil-A. Just sayin’.
Josh says:
I think you nailed it on the head.
I was homeschooled K-HS. I wasn’t in a public group until I started in Cilunary school.
Since I never went to public school I can’t really compare the two. But I have seen the basic product of a public school attendant and I’m glad I didn’t go. I’m not saying I’m better than those who went to a public school, but I just don’t think I would have turned out the same if I had.
Like Olivia, I too had a co-op group, church, sports, and lots of other public events that I participated in. Also as being in a homeschool group of 9 children, we were able to go on many more hands-on field trips that public schools just can’t do due to their large size.
I wouldn’t go back and change anything.
lisa says:
wonderful article!