All parents, well good parents at least, want their children to grow up to be responsible, respectable, productive adults. No parent is proud when their adult ‘child’ becomes a bum who squanders time, talent and money.
I am simply amazed at the stupidity of this extended adolescence phenomena that is widely accepted!!! Adolescence in and of itself is a crock; and now we have extended adolescence where boys men in their 20′s are ALLOWED to act like spoiled brats, being able to come and go as they please, always casting off the call of duty, as they seek to indulge themselves in whatever they want; meanwhile they EXPECT someone else to provide for their needs.
What infuriates me even more than these lazy, irresponsible, self centered boys men are the people, usually dear ol’ mom and dad, that make excuses for them and enable them to be not only a drain on the family, but a burden on society.
Friends and family that think they are helping the poor guy out because ‘he is finding himself’ or ‘he is down on his luck’ should think twice before they offer a meal and a bed.
Now, before I get blasted for not being compassionate, nor Christ-like, let me make myself real clear. I am 100% family minded. The family is the building block of society and it is built on Christ. We need strong healthy families. Personally, I think it is a good thing for a boy man to live at home while he is establishing himself with his education and trade.
As soon as he starts making money, IN HIS EARLY TEENS, he should be contributing to the family. He should be budgeting his money, including buying his own clothes (not all in the beginning but working up to it), paying for extra activities, etc… He needs to understand that with the privileges of earning money and making mature decisions comes responsibility, not self centered indulgences.
Our expectations should be high, not unreasonable, but high enough that we provoke our sons to MAN-UP, not wimping-out from responsibility. Not only responsibility for himself but for those around him.
Men are geared to be providers and protectors. Look for ways while your sons are young to encourage this kind of thinking. This is what builds self-esteem and self confidence; and when they become adults and they want to mooch off you, DON’T LET THEM! There is a world of difference between giving a hand up, than a hand-out.