I consider myself somewhere between an Eclectic Home Educator and one who embraces the Multiple Intelligences method, or even Relaxed.

No matter which method you choose, whether using a whole curriculum and finishing each workbook, Classical, Relaxed, community co-ops, etc…

The truth is, it’s down right hard!

Taking the responsibility for your child’s education is a heavy one. It is one that every homeschooling mom wrestles with every year. It’s a constant, ‘Am I doing it right? Am I doing enough? Am I ruining my child for life? What if…?’

Combine that with always being second guessed by others. You know, the cashier that feels her critique of homeschooling will impact your educational philosophy, even though you didn’t ask. And even worse being at family gatherings and have Aunt Sue quiz your kids on what they are learning and insisting they will be scarred for life because they won’t be able to go to the prom (is that really a reason any more?). Oh, and sports!!! Johnny has to play sports to be a success in life! People who say these things don’t have a clue to the REAL WORLD of homeschooling!

I am in my 22nd year of homeschooling and it’s been a roller-coaster ride. I’ve done everything from Abeka to Konos.

Do I *LOVE* homeschooling? No, not really. But I don’t like cleaning the bathroom either, but I do it. I’m always glad when I’m done and I know it was the right thing to do. My family is better for it. There are a lot of things I don’t like doing, but I do them with thanksgiving… some people don’t have indoor plumbing, yes, I am grateful. There are a dozen other things I’d like fill my week day with than teaching a reluctant reader… or drilling math… again. Just being honest. But I do want what is best for my kids, I will do so and try to be joyful about it, doing what is needful and ditching the rest.

I’ve ‘schooled’ four children to adulthood, three are doing very well and one is a prodigal and I have three more to go. I am VERY grateful that no matter how hard it was and whatever life circumstances came along, God gave us the grace to stick with it. I know it was the right thing to do, even on the days that were hard.

Do I think I am better than other moms who don’t homeschool? NO! This post is to acknowledge that it is hard. Some days I just want to graduate and get on with life. 😉 In fact I was done homeschooling four years ago when my youngest was graduating. THEN God gave us three more children through adoption with the youngest being two. I gratefully take on the task, but that doesn’t mean that it is easy or always fun.

Why Homeschool Parents Quit

I’ve seen many families come and go in my 22 years, even mentored some.

These are the most common reasons I’ve seen why parents quit:

• A Non-Committed Spouse - Usually mom wants to do it because she thinks it will help keep the family united and/or keep her kids away from negative peers. Dad will go along with it, for a while. But because he is not 100% on board, as soon as the going gets tough, he wants the kids back in school. To regain harmony in the marriage, mom then concedes… reluctantly.

• Parent Peer Pressure - Attending a church or being in social circles where homeschooling is NOT embraced and encouraged, it is likely the parents will not homeschool long term. No one likes being odd man out.

• The Kids Rule - The parents let the children choose what is best for them. If Suzie wants to go to school with her neighborhood friends then they let her. The parents cave to Suzie’s demands in hopes of keeping her heart. She’ll later find another reason to pitch a fit (even if it is just an emotional head game) and get more of what she thinks she deserves. The parents are not in charge and kids know what is best.

• Mom’s Wandering Heart - This one is rampant these days. Basically mom sees what others are doing, usually those who don’t homeschool, and want a piece of the action. She wants to build her business. She wants time to continue her own education. She wants to pursue her dreams, most of which she gave up when she birthed children. She feels lost and unnoticed, almost victimize by her circumstances. Letting someone else educate the children will free her up to be true to herself. She has convinced herself that the kids are better off all day long with someone else doing the hard part of teaching them and she can have her dreams and desires fulfilled and then be Happy Mommy for the remaining 4-5 hours of the day…doing homework and running to clubs and sports. And she may be right. The kids may be better off away from her during the day if her attitude is rotten.

I’m not saying a mom can’t have a life outside her kids, but she should be careful that it’s not at the expense of her children.

• The Martyr Parents - These parents start out with good intentions, but after a few years choose to send their children into the public school to be missionaries.

• Simple Materialism - For most of us, mom staying home and primarily focusing on raising and teaching the children means learning to live a little more meagerly. The kids can have more and do more if Mom gets a job and brings in some cash-flow. Priorities.

And the Biggest Reason:

• Education is Too Much WORK

This is it. This is the biggie!

IT IS HARD WORK.

It is a constant giving of yourself when you’d rather do other things.

It’s a constant re-evaluating to see if things could be done better.

It’s the continual criticisms of those who won’t or can’t get it, especially from those we love and respect.

It’s the everyday fighting to climb out of the public school box way of doing things.

It’s the stumbling around trying to find what works for each child, because God made them all differently, and all we know is the classroom way of doing it.

It’s the not knowing for sure, yet trusting the Lord to give you what you need for the day.

IT IS HARD!

But is there anything more worthy of your dedication than your children? Is there anything more important than their worldview (salvation of course, but you are not in charge of that!)?

We live in a culture that tells us to avoid the hard stuff, avoid work… to long for the weekend…and retirement. You deserve more. Right?

Mother-Friend, if you are thinking of quitting, hoping life will be easier, happier, please re-consider.

Find some good support.

Try a new approach.

Surround yourself with cheerleaders.

Ask God daily for a heart of wisdom, pray this with your children, that they too will have a heart of wisdom.

Get rid of the fluff and get down to the basics.

Spend their childhood giving them the best of you, let them see you struggle and overcome! These are the richest of lessons.

We have a freedom to educate our children, to bare our souls with then as we grow together, but with that freedom comes much responsibility. Take it seriously and joyfully!

Now… I do think Christian schools are an option when necessary. There are some with serious family hardships such as divorce, sickness and death. There are situations and seasons where families need outside help. If you don’t have a strong homeschool community and a supportive church then Christian school may be the best thing.

I also LOVE co-ops, and outside tutors to help with subjects. There are so many video schools and YouTube, and Khan Academy. There are ways to lighten the load for the overwhelmed, homeschool parent, but government education is not the answer.

I don’t want this to be a ‘casting judgment’ post, but rather a ‘take a deep breath, step back and re-evaluate, you can do this’ post!

Free Homeschool Resources

Are You Preparing Your Children for Life?

Do Schools Kills Creativity?

Homeschool Students Excel in College

Thank Government Schools for Same-Sex Marriage

Why Being Mom is Enough

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