Rarely do we hear of a parent that is happy with the curriculum they have chosen, and if they have found the perfect curriculum for child A, most likely child B will struggle with it.
Although we have been homeschooling for 18 years, I am still amazed at how many curriculum and teaching tools there are to help parents educate their children.
No matter what you choose to use there are two important things to ALWAYS remember:
Relationship and Worldview
Relationship
- Don’t sacrifice your relationship with your child over getting school done.
- Do not squeeze them into a box while you crush their spirit. Education is not a one size fits all.
- Always expect THEIR best, not yours. Just because you excel at something does not mean they will. Push them to their limits, but not over the edge.
- If one of you (or both of you), are crying, angry or frustrated at the end of the day, take a breather and connect your hearts. Make sure they know your love is not based on passing a test.
- If what you are doing is not working, draw back, get recommendations from others and tweak your approach and/or curriculum!
- If you have a child’s heart and your relationship is good, they will put forth extra efforts to do a good job. If they feel stupid, or that they can never measure up, they will quit trying and cut you off emotionally.
- A passing grade, certificate, diploma or degree is never worth damaging your relationship. The relationship MUST come first.
Worldview
We all have a worldview whether we know it or not. Our worldview is based on presuppositions and biases from which we view every situation. Our world view is formed from our upbringing, our education, the culture around us, our church, the friends we have, the movies we watch and books we read.
You must be aware of your worldview and evaluate if you are basing your view on Truth or just pop culture and what you think should be right and true.
As Christians we need to line everything up with the commandments of Christ.
How we choose to live and respond to situations will be determined on our worldview. If your worldview is self centered,” it’s all about me, be all I can be”, then you will make life choices based on that.
Constantly be looking for opportunities to train your children to evaluate situation from a Christian worldview.
- When listening to the news ask what worldview is being stated here.
- When listening to music ask what is this song really saying? Is it glorifying sin?
- When watching movies or reading books, take note, does the good guy win? Were his means of winning honorable? Were the weak protected? What was the moral character of the characters?
- When politicians are speaking are they promoting Godly principals?
- When making the rules for your home, are they based on property rights or socialism? Are they loving your neighbor or demanding rights that are not Biblical?
Everywhere you turn there is an opportunity to teach your children how to think with a Christian worldview. If you don’t do that, they will just be stumbling in the dark and making choices based on emotion.
The most important things in education are keeping a good relationship with your children, which is hard work, and teaching them how to see the world through a Christian worldview. If you can keep these two things at the forethought of your day, the academics will come.
Diana says:
I’d love to know what YOU meant by this “When making the rules for your home, are they based on property rights or socialism? Are they loving your neighbor or demanding rights that are not Biblical?”
I’d love to see examples. There are some situations where we do share or work towards the common good because we are ‘family’ not because of a socialist mindset. I’d just like to understand what sort of things you might mean.
Thanks
Kathy says:
Everyone has some items that are personal property and should share only if they want to, sharing is not sharing if it is forced, although it can be encouraged. ;o)
If Suzie gets a special doll for her birthday and sister Annie wants to play with it, Suzie should not be forced to share it. But, Suzie can be encouraged to share if she is not using it. The choice is up to Suzie, she may have good reasons not to share. Real sharing has to be from the heart.
We do need to train our children to always consider the common good of the family, and as they grow up they will most likely consider the common good of not only the family, but also their community and church.
A simple example; after dinner if everyone will clear their own place setting it will make it easier on the one in charge of the kitchen chore that night - love your neighbor.
Common good- are there things we can do to put the needs of others first, even if it means we have to do things we don’t necessarily want to?
Does that help any?
Diana says:
Sounds good to me…thanks for clarifying
As our kids are getting into the higher teens and they are getting income from various places we have struggled with what to require of them (for example a friend our ours has her children contribute half of any income they earn to the family..but she is a single mom now with 8 kids and they need to do that..they are very hard workers and really take care of eachother). We want a family economy but just arent sure what to require. We dont want to encourage mooching as they head into adulthood but feel a bit guilty about having them contribute cash.
Diana says:
BTW, what do you think of having kids do things like writing book reviews, reports and such ..you know the typical ‘writing exercises’. I have a son who loves to write in his journal or stories and such but the book review sent him into tears at 12yr old! The only one who seemed ok with it was my 17yr dd who is more analytical..her review was on ‘The Gift of Music’..wasnt even the usual ‘story’. We already do things like, write letters to people, copywork from the Bible, readers and such but I’m not sure which things they ‘need’. I like to have it be important and necessary for us to bother with it (only so much time in a day as you know).
Kathy says:
This is just my personal opinion.
I do think they need to know how to do a book report/essay/term paper. Producing one book report a quarter or semester is sufficient. If writing is not their strong point, then be sure they can communicate back to you what the book is about. Slowly work on the writing skills, maybe breaking it down for him or writing a few book reports WITH him might help.
If college is important to your family and if you think your son will need to go to college, then you will really want to find ways to motivate and improve his writing skills because he’ll NEED them in college.
If you don’t think that is his bent, then don’t stress.
Keep it to the basics.
Kim M says:
Great thoughts, Kathy. Relationships are so important!
Diana says:
Thanks for the feedback! I really like the idea of doing the report with him..that might help. It seems understanding what exactly to do is a struggle (I remember that as a kid as well). I doubt he’ll go to college (though if we can afford college plus by then I’d happy pay for it). He seems more interested in his own business if he can figure out what that is ,lol. However, we want to encourage whatever he needs to do his best in life for the glory of God and to take dominion wherever he finds an opportunity. It is strange though how he could write all day..stories, lists of things etc but not this book review and he really detests any writing that is fake (like a letter to ‘someone’ in a workbook or being told to write a story about a picture in the workbook). We got rid of the workbooks long ago and increased as much real life writing as possible. Interesting thing is he loved the ‘pass-a-story’ we just started a few weeks ago (where one person starts a story and then next time everyone adds to someone elses story and you just rotate til you want to stop). I sure wish these books that suggest things (like book reports) would not just give the requirements but give finished examples as well. Some of this stuff *I* dont even know and I was public-schooled ,haha.
Kathy says:
It seems that he is a very practical person. Don’t stress over the book report, do a couple with him and move on. Who decided that was a must know thing??? ;o)
If you yourself have trouble with knowing just what to write, as a friend who is good at it for a little help.
So much of ‘school exercises’ are simple a waste of time.
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Diana says:
heh! I ask myself that question a lot these days (“who says?”) after reading much Ruth Beechick etc. My kids are very grateful. In the early days we had large stacks of textbooks and spent a lot of time crying and nagging and in general missing out on life and the true beauty of ‘home schooling’.
And you are right..he IS practical (though a little excentric when it comes to old retro gadgets, lol) He’s the one that wrote out all the gifts we bought for Xmas (nearly all 2nd hand) and the prices and then used his 10-key to tally it all up…then wrote it all in his journal, haha. He loves lists and organizing more than anyone I know.
Amanda Kaylon says:
I am not a home-schooling mother - or a mother at all, for that matter - so please discount the wisdom and maturity of my comment accordingly. With regard to Diana’s question of writing, though, I thought my own experience might be of some little help.
I was home-educated through my school years, and when I was between fourteen and eighteen I loved writing stories, but hated (and was not at all good at) writing essays, reports, reviews and so forth. I hated the perceived purposelessness of writing about things I had no real interest in. Then… I gained an *interest* in something. On my own initiative, I became a film critic and began writing one or two movie reviews each week. I learned to write because there was something I wanted to express, and express well.
I don’t necessarily promote the idea of just letting young people (including myself) put off acquiring skills (or character qualities like discipline) until they need them. I have, however, found that for myself (and my younger siblings), having a real, tangible *purpose* for writing was extremely helpful, both long- and short-term. What is the purpose of a book report (in my case, a movie review)? It is *not* to provide a bland synopsis and outline of the content. We do not always have to pretend to be neutral about what we read (or watch). Even if the purpose of the book “report” is to condense the main points of the book and then persuade the reader that wading through the minor points of the book would be a waste of his time, the book report would have a here-and-now *purpose*. In real life, we don’t write for the sake of learning how to write. In real life, we write what we want people to read… even if we just want them to know that this book really wasn’t the most interesting one we’ve ever read.
Again, this is not from a parent’s perspective, and a lifetime of twenty-two years doesn’t usually endow people with a particularly great supply of practical wisdom… or of wisdom in general. At least the boy who loves story-writing and doesn’t like essay-writing can have the comfort of a sympathetic soul, and his mother can have the comfort of knowing that that sympathetic soul eventually outgrew her aversion to essays.
Kathy says:
Excellent points Amanda! Thank you for chiming in!!!