The Summer of My Life – Marriage

July 13, 2011

As I posted yesterday, if the Lord allows me to live to be 80 or so, I guess I’d call this season of my life the latter part of summer.

This not only applies to my parenting, but also my marriage. I guess because Jeff and I were not raised with a Biblical worldview we had no idea what marriage was really about. When I look back I think about all the times I was angry or sullen because I was not getting what I wanted emotionally. I *expected* so much from my marriage and Jeff. I put expectations on him that were unfair and I expected him to make me happy!

I had no idea, even after being saved and in the church for many years, what God created me for. I had no clue about being a Godly wife. All I knew was what I was taught through the people around me and TV, and sadly, most of that was and still is reflected in most churches. That is another topic for another day, but it is the reason why more than half of marriages will fail.

It has taken many, many years of God purging me of my selfishness to learn that marriage is not about me being happy. Marriage is about faithfulness and dependance on Christ. Marriage is about two becoming one to build the Kingdom together, carrying out a life’s work together.

The key is that both the husband and the wife have to ‘get over themselves’ and realize that peace and contentment, and yes, even happiness can come  in a marriage ONLY if both are being faithful to God. If you remove that key from the 1+1+1=1 equation, then it will be a constant battle, you’ll never understand your purpose and you’ll never experience real love!

Being married is a lot of hard work, a lot of sacrifice and rarely does it look like what we thought it would, mainly because we enter it with such FOOLISH expectations.

It took me a LONG time to learn what my wedding vows meant; to understand that all of this is about God!

Next month Jeff and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage. Our relationship began full of sin and selfishness in every form, but a holy, merciful and sovereign God redeemed us. Since then He has been reforming us, teaching us that our life is all about bringing Him glory and building His Kingdom!

Our marriage is SO RADICALLY different than what I ‘dreamed’ it would be when I was in my teens and twenties. The truth is, it is WONDERFULLY BETTER!!! We have our ups and downs just like everyone does, but the downs are fewer in between and not as far down. But the ups? OH! MY! GOODNESS! They are so far up that it is hard to explain.

I am enjoying this late summer season of my marriage. It is a calm time because we REST more in Christ. We are loving each other more the way Christ commands us to and we are enjoying the security that God gives when we obey. I love the warmth of his hand when he takes mine in his to pray…I LOVE IT!

We are constantly reminding our children that being married is not about you being happy, it’s about you living faithfully and depending on God to meet all your needs, and in return He is faithful!

Topics: Family Tidbits, The Summer of My Life | 3 Comments »