The eyes, they really are a window to the soul.
I remember the first time it happened, when I caught her looking deep in my eyes, like she was studying me…deeply. I knew it was finally happening, it was probably 6-7 months after she arrived in our home, months after I had been her mom. She was looking into my soul and I into hers. I really can’t explain it, but you know when it is happening. It’s as if time is standing still and the birth of trust is happening.
This little 4 year old firecracker is a happy girl…an active girl. She will talk with anyone and go with anyone. I use to think she was too trusting because she had no fear of anyone. I learned this is what happens with tender souls that are bounced around a lot. There is no security, no safe place, they have to trust everyone because children can not make it on their own; that is why they need parents!
It happens naturally with newborns. You know it when you stare at them, looking deep in their eyes, even before they make the connection. Then you notice when they are looking you deep in the eyes and they are connecting with you. You are bonding and you don’t even realize it.
Peachy-girl has been the hardest one to connect with and to be honest it worried me some.
Last winter she had a virus and I was the only one she wanted. She did not want anyone holding her but me. As much as I hated to see her sick, it brought assurance to me that she was bonding, she was trusting me and only me when she was truly weak.
Then yesterday, it happened again, a year and a half after her being placed in our care. She had to have a crown put on a tooth, she had a sense that this was not a typical dentist appointment. She sat in the chair, the bouncy girl who LOVES to be the center of attention was suddenly very serious. As they explained to her what they were doing, she looked at me…square in the eyes. I felt her fear. It was much like that first time she looked deeply at me, as if to say, “I trust you, Mom. You are my safe place.”
Linking up at A Better Mom.