I’ve been working on my new book (I still haven’t decided on a title), and I wanted to share a part of one of the chapters. I’d love to hear some feedback in the comment section. 
Teach Them to Be Problem Solvers
I am convinced that we expect too little from our children. It hasn’t been that long ago that young men, even at the age of 12 were manning ships and that 16 year olds were heading to the prairies to establish homes and families in new country.
Why was it common for young people to take on such big responsibilities and accomplish so much? It was because they had to. They had challenging circumstances, there was no adolescences and there was no such thing has prolonged adolescences.
Our prosperity and an institutionalize form of education as fostered a culture of slackers that have no ambition nor critical thinking skills. We have got to change that!
Don’t make things too easy for them. If they want a certain item or to go to a function give them opportunities to be earning the money. Children need to know at a young age that everything cost money, and it is a mark of maturity to prove their responsibility to earn it.
If you tell a child he can not have a new bike unless he earns the money for it, watch him become an instant entrepreneur! If he does not want to earn it, then it was not important enough to him.
This is not to say you should never give them things. Gifts are good, but showering them with every want only harms them.
Being a problem solver does not apply only to money situations:
- If a situation arises at home let them try to figure out a way to make it work.
- If something breaks, let them figure out how to fix it.
- If there is a conflict with a sibling let them try to resolve it first before you intercede.
- Let them learn, let them think, let them create!
It is almost always easier and faster to just handle a situation yourself, but refrain from always doing so. Let them struggle and learn. This takes more time of your day but you are equipping them with critical thinking skills they need for everyday adult life!
Start with simple things when they are young and slowly increase their responsibility in being a problem solver. The problem solvers are the leaders, the problem solvers are the ones that invent and create. They are the ones that reject the victim mentality and get things done!
Is your house full of problem solvers or mooches that want to be served?
Kathy
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Jennifer Chrispell says:
fantastic! Very great and insightful. We have made our kids including girls work for many of the things they wanted. When 15 our daughter was given a “free horse” . Dad put up the lean to and the fencing as we could use them later anyways. She was required to pay for everything for the horse….shots, vaccines, hoof trimming, feed, hay ect… She found out that all of her babysitting money paid for her horse. She loved Fred but in the end decided to sell him because she was horse broke. After 18 months she sent him to a new home. Now she is 18 and in college, people will ask her if she wants a horse and she will say while she loves them they are way to expensive to care for on a limited income.
Shirley says:
Our children love to help our at our store. The younger two are too young to officially serve the customers, but they help out ‘in the back’ by folding newsletters, stuffing envelopes, etc. The older one helps in all areas.
In our customer-facing business, there are times when we *do* have to step in and assist so that we can complete the work in a timely fashion and/or resolve questions with the customer. But in those cases, we try to show we respect for their contributions and are careful to “ask” if we can assist and not just push him aside and take over the work/conversation. And, we always try to follow up during a less-busy period with a “do you understand how that worked?” or “would you know what to do next time?” kind of conversation.
Kathy says:
That is great Shirley!
Elizabeth Smith says:
This is wonderful guidance. I unfortunately did step in and try to solve all my son’s problems. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I see differently. Book learning has always been easy for him – he is very smart! However, he lacks the day to day skills and ability to solve everyday type of problems. Now that he is an adult it has been a painful journey for him and me.
Elizabeth
Kathy says:
Elizabeth, God can and does redeem the time. Pray and move forward. Thank you for your honesty.
Laurie says:
Just letting you know that there are a couple of minor spelling errors. If you read through, you will probably find them.
Our daughter also wants a horse to do barrel racing, team penning or something ofd that sort. She was told that she will have to earn money for it.
Well, she is going to raise chickens over a couple of years to get one and pay for upkeep. This teaches not only earning money to get what she wants, but everyday responsibility…which she needs to have to care for a horse anyway. It also teaches that hard work doesn’t necessarily make a person monetarily rich either…there are costs and problems to deal with even with doing this project. There is also the art of selling and PR type skills to learn.
We already have fencing and some pasture, but she will have to pay for feed, tack and vet bills.
She will learn in the process how to save money as well…not needing to pay someone else for the horse’s every need, but to provide all she can and problem solve first before calling for outside help. She will learn to trim hooves, etc. We also have access to some veterinary books on livestock, and internet resources on natural care that will come in handy I am sure.
Your article is great!
Shana says:
Hi. We have tried to make our kids problems solvers and I think that we have been/are being successful. They realize that that money does not grow on trees ( they are all working in some way to earn the major things they want. Recently we helped our oldest son find a truck that is definately one for a problem solver. While the “basics” are there, the truck had no doors, and being an OLD basic 350 motor chevy truck, or course comes with its own set of mechanical problems, which he is discovering how to repair himself. We found a parts truck for body work, he has replaced fenders, doors, working on back windows..and currently learning how to replace the fuel pump. We did get him a Chilton’s repair manual, so he has a “curriculum” for his auto repair problems…That same son has learned plumbing repairs (first watching dad, then being handed the tools to make repairs when needed…fencing repairs, even wound care for animals….along with his younger brothers)
In the kitchen, our daughter who is the cook has learned to solve kitchen related problems (what do I fix for supper when all I have is….beans?!!) I’m out of milk, how am I supposed to make biscuits??….you know those kinds of things that come up.
I recently was speaking with a friend who hosted a baby shower for my kids youth leader and his wife. She bragged and bragged on how my kids helped clean up the hall, load supplies and baby gifts for the youth leader and help load her items in her vehicle. What a blessing to hear that their training has shown up in other areas of life…they did not just go to the shower to ‘MOOCH’ cake and punch…they actually saw a need (problem to be solved…cleaning up, etc.) and met the needs they saw.
I am so proud of them…
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