Responsibilities in Attitudes and Thoughts

January 12, 2009

This week we will be discussing responsibility in thought, attitude and motive.

When it comes to teaching our children it is important to clearly define and exhibit what is expected of them, and then have patience to define and exhibit it over and over again.  )  

To review the "I Wills" from Character Journal:

The "I Wills" of Responsibility

• I will keep my promises
• I will not make excuses
• I will do all my work to the best of my ability
• I will make things right when I do wrong
• I will know my duty and do my duty (this one is my favorite and we still say this from time to time)

To continue on the topic of chores from last week…

Has anyone experienced an attitude of resistance from an older child about his/her responsibilities/chores? Maybe they don’t say anything, but their efficiency in a task is lacking? How often do we as adults set a bad example when we complain about what we have to do and no one seems to care? /

When Your Teen Has a Slacker Attitude

Some times it is a tough battle but we have to press on, don’t grow weary in the last few years.

Consider when he is working a job to provide for himself and his family one day; won't his boss expect him to do his job correctly/completely?

When it comes to their relationship with their spouse and caring for their home won't it be important that they finish a task completely? The same applies when they become a parent.

Our job as parents is to train them to be responsible, to be their very best. If we allow slackness from them as a child/teen, we're just setting the pattern for them for life. I KNOW it is tough. It is a 24/7 job, but it is OUR job. Don't grow weary; dig your heels in with a LOVING and firm determination. By the age of 16-17 teens should be able to do anything an adult can do.

By the time children are teens it is more about attitude, not submitting to authority and not having a servant's heart, all of which we are called to as Christians. The sooner they learn that life is not about them the better off they will be. It is opposite of what our culture screams at them and our selfish nature demands.

This is what we've done (and still do) with our older children:

v     If a job is not done up to par or in a timely manner they have to come re-do it.

v     If there is ANY bad attitude or remarks, then they get an extra job to be done. It is good to have a list of extra jobs already made up so you don't have to think of something when you are in the middle of the battle.

They need to be able to accept correction and constructive criticism gracefully. This is where it is very important how WE handle correction or criticism. It has to be done without anger. It is OK to let them know you are frustrated or disappointed, but you have to be careful how you express it, no matter how old they are.

When it comes to older boys (about 10 and up) try to have your husband do most of the instruction and correction/consequences, they need that 'man' authority. If they are dealing with any kind of authority issues mom usually needs to step back (a hard thing for me to do) and let dad handle it until things are in order. That is not saying mom should not be obeyed, but sometimes dad needs to intervene and let them know where the buck stops!  ;o)

No chore is too menial for a teen. Jesus said if we do something as simple as giving a cup of water to a child, it would be the same as giving it to Him. Life is full of what seems to be meaningless task, task that do not get recognition or pay. This is why it is so important to train an attitude of service in a child; to do their work as unto the Lord.

"Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from

people who have a habit of making excuses."

— George Washington Carver

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