Raising Real Men Book Review and Giveaway!
January 20, 2010
Raising Real Men should be a regular bed-side read. It’s practical advice on raising godly young men was such a great reminder! Mothers, particularly, need to read this book. There is so much we need to understand about our boys’ differences, and understanding those differences is crucial to their growth and character development.
I loved what married-team authors Hal and Melanie Young emphasized regarding the importance of our training to evoke positive character growth:
“It may seem that much of the discipling process is a negative action, to stop misbehaviors. If that’s all it is, we’re missing the duty to protect, develop, and strengthen the confidence and leadership skills of our sons. We need to consciously seek opportunities to stretch and train them for future service.”
Addressing topics such as handling “adventure and recklessness”, dealing with mixed content on TV, handling money, teaching manners and so much more, the Youngs offer a solidly-written handbook for parents who desire to raise godly men.
Raising Real Men is highly recommended by Teaching Good Things!
We are giving away a copy of this wonderful book. Just leave a comment in the comment section with a question or statement about raising boys. We will be doing an interview with the authors of the book in a few weeks so we’ll try to work in your questions.
If you link to this on your Facebook and/or Twitter account you get your name entered again!
Giveaway ends January 25.
Topics: Boys!, Reviews | 147 Comments »
Comments (147)
This is a great discussion, I have 3 boys (8,3, and 1). My 8 year old was an absolute hand-full when he turned 3, we called him “Bam Bam” because he was impulsive in his physical behavior. He would take a stick, run across the yard, jam it into the fence, hit the house with it, he was fast and impulsive. I was busy following him so that he didn’t accidentally harm others. He is 8 years old now and calm, a joy, hardly any work at all. I was exhausted in those years but I think my constant monitoring/coaching him helped. I think speaking to boys in a very direct way is best like “Please stop that, it can hurt others”, nothing flowery or too long, they don’t have the attention for it. When we think of our husbands (at least mine), he responds to direct, to-the-point conversation, leave out the details. I hope I can help in this discussion, I have a long way to go yet and can learn so much more.
I have 3 boys 6, 7 1/2, & 9 years old. They are “all boy” boys and a joy to my heart. My question is: How do I raise my boys to be men who have goals, take initiative, etc…? My husband’s goal is to come home from work, eat dinner, and watch TV until bedtime. It’s pretty much the same on weekends. How do I teach them not to follow in their father’s footsteps?
Thank you, Kathy, for sharing this important book with your viewers. I am most interested in this book and am in desperate need for some Godly advice on raising my 4 boys (13yo, 9yo, 5yo, and 2yo), especially with my 9yo who also happens to be the middle child of 5 children. We also have 1 daughter (11yo). I must confess that I haven’t been neither a very nurturing mother to my children nor a good womanly role model for them, especially for the boys. After 13 years, I am only now accepting my failures as a mother and a wife. I fear that the damages that I’ve imposed upon them may be carried over into their adult life and future relationships (i.e. marriage). Additionally, raising our 9yo son has been our biggest challenge. His personality, character, behavior, perception of fairness, and more has caused a tremendous strain on my as well as my husband’s relationship with him. We are all constantly arguing with this son because he is unable (unwilling?) to listen to the message we are trying to address with him. His is a very “black and white” person, is constantly arguing about fairness, is a perfectionist, has poor self-esteem and self-confidence, indecisive, and whines and cries alot when things don’t go his way. Little incidents can trigger his mood. To avoid any confrontation, I have reached a point now where I am ignoring him. Like a domino effect, my marital relationship is also strained. Presently, I am at a total loss as to what to do with this son and the rest of my children. I often wonder if I would be a completely different person and more able to handle this situation with my son if I was a Christian. (I am the only person in my family who is not a Christian.) Does God share his wisdom to those who are non-believers?
I am hoping that this book will open my eyes to becoming a better mother for my boys. If I should not be the lucky person for this contest, I would appreciate any advice and guidance you could offer me on how to overcome these challenges with our son. Thank you so much for your time and for the opportunity to share. Peace, KC
I would love to have this book. I have a 13yo daughter and a 10 year old son. He is around us all day. His daddy is a manly man, and he does spend ample time with dad doing manly things, but when he’s home with “the girls”, it’s hard to know what to do with all his extra energy!! I am not a creative type, so coming up with ideas is very hard.
Thank you for all that you do for families, it is a real blessing.
What a great title. Real Men a re Godly men. We pray that our six sons will be that, but we need to do our part. It would be lovely to read this book by the Youngs. Thanks for hosting the giveaway.
I am a single mother with a son and daughter. Our family experienced great turmoil a few years ago whicch ended in divorce. My son more then my daughter suffered from this loss but unfortunately it had to happen due to the severity of the situation. Because of my concerns, my sister (God bless her) agreed to have my son live with her for the school year where she homeschools my son and one of her 7 boys. They have a wonderful God loving and God fearing marriage and my brother-in-law has stepped in and is being the father to my son which he never had. Because of God’s unending love He has given us this opportunity and my son is already becoming a great young MAN.
We have 3 children (2 are boys) and I’d love to read this book. Raising boys and girls is so different, along with their different personalities! Love your website! Thanks for the entry!
Two of my boys are grown, two are still at home along with two daughters. Growing up, I had only brothers. My husband had no sisters, had three brothers, then three step-brothers later on. I don’t struggle knowing “what” and “how” as far as boys go, but can always use new ideas and encouragement to let my boys be boys and not try to feminize them. Thankfully, my husband was all boy growing up and is very much a manly man. I think this book would be an asset in helping our boys become Godly men.
Oh how I adore having a 4 year old boy. The conversations we have and the special times are wonderful. Plus boys have better toys than girls do
I am a homeschooling mother of three boys ages 8, 5 and 2. How do I teach my sons to be aware of the world around them yet separate from it? I don’t want to raise Pharisees who will look down their noses at others, but instead be full of grace and compassion. Thanks for offering this giveway.
Amanda
I would love to be entered to receive a copy of this book! Thank you. Like another comment, I often struggle with those sibling rivalry issues. However, the other sibling is a younger sister with a stronger personality. My son is on the autism spectrum and, while I know he doesn’t respond the same to ‘typical’ discipline, he still needs to be raised with certain understandings, among these is respect for himself and others. Thanks, again.
I have 16 and 11 year old sons and it seems the more I think I know the more I realize I know nothing and need God’s wisdom. I was reared with 4 sisters so it has been an experience learning all the ways of boys!!! The knives and hunting equipment–the roughhousing! wow… Thanks for the blog. ( I have 8 daughters btw!)
We have three boys ages 3, 6, and 12. As my husband and I were thinking the other day, we only have 6 good years left to teach our oldest the most important things we want him to take away to college and beyond. What can we do to make sure that we give him the skills he needs to be successful as a Christian man in the world.
Our little man is six and hoping THIS time the baby will be a boy also, so he isn’t so outnumbered. I would love to read this book. My question is: how do you find out what their natural bents or talents are, without influencing them? I mean, when they are young, a lot of times they want to please you, but I don’t want that to cloud what is something they can really grab onto and develop. Hmmm, doesn’t make as much sense once I typed it out, but maybe you’ll understand.
Our son is 11 and an only child. He’s very loving, but not focused or self-motivated (which I was as a child, and my dh wasn’t until high school age). I’d love to learn how to guide him to take more initiative in his schoolwork, and work around home, as well as to aim for doing a good job, not just getting it done. Thank you!
I come from a family with seven brothers and two sisters. I do family child care in my home and only have boys. I am amazed how fathers get upset when I tell them how gentle their son is and how they like to cook, clean and even play with dolls. I would love to learn how to explain to fathers that boys can and like to be nice. Susan
I would like to know what to do about older boys being mean to younger boys(siblings), and also what to do about teens (13)with a bad attitude and never being satisfied with what he has. My 13 yos is always comparing what we have or do with others.
Thanks.
I would love to have this book to help my daughter and son-in-law raise my grandson.
As women, we know how we like to be treated as wives. So it would be good to teach our boys these things, so when they get married they will be ready.
Sometimes I feel I fail my boys (7 &5 years old) because I’m all about hush and sit down which is not the best way for boys or girls for that matter. So I appreciate being entered to win . My question is how do you deal with the fighting?
My boys are pretty constantly roughousing which sometimes escalates into hurtful fighting.
I would love to be entered in your giveaway contest! My question is, what is the most important thing a teenage boy needs from his mother? I have four boys ages 13, 5, 2, and 6 months. My daughter is 12. Thanks!
I don’t have any boys but I do have three girls and someday they will marry and then I’ll have my boys. I want the girls to have “insider” information on the type of husband they need to be praying for and to begin evaluating potential husbands.
I would LOVE to know more about helping my son to become a godly man. With 3 sisters, he does have a difficult time! He also is the only one with medical needs (asthma), and I think this challenges him further. We are also looking into the possibility that his allergies, or ADD, or depression are impeding his education. Are there any suggestions for dealing with these things, as far as making sure he is encouraged by his differences, rather than feeling singled-out? As I said, he’s the ONLY one with ANY medical needs. Thanks!
This sounds like a great book! I am always looking for insight on raising my boys. My husband lost his father when he was 8 and he often needs assistance with a Christian perspective on raising good, strong Godly sons. I think we both need help as we have a blended family with 5 sons, lots of challenges and definitely a work in progress!
I would love a copy of this book. I have four daughters and one son and honestly need all the help I can get!!
I have three boys and one girl (third), and my question is about special differences in a way a boy sees himself according the birth order. My oldest is very laid back, roll with the punches kind of a guy, but my second likes to be in control making orders, and has a loud and “bossy” personality, easily annoyed and prone to mood swings, very competitive but hates to loose. It almost seems that he is bummed to be the second. My husband and I are often so disappointed with his reactions to small staff, are not sure how to handle him. Although I am starting to see improvements in his behavior and believe he is maturing, we still have a long way to go. Praying for wisdom is something I know we as parents should do daily, but advice from Godly people does not hurt. I would like my second son to realize that God made him special and has His plans for him no matter what talents his other siblings possess. I just wondered if the authors have any wisdom to share with parents about the character nuances of boys related to their birth order. Thank you for the opportunity to own this wonderful resource and for your work in supporting families.
I have 3 boys…one more on the way due next month. I love the blessing they are to me and to our family (two sisters). Boys and girls are DEFINITELY different! Praise God!
We have 3 girls and 1 boy. When our boy was younger we saw him struggling with respect and quick obedience. We prayed and felt the Lord was showing us some ways to improve the situation. Attention, attention, attention from Dad. As his male role model he took him everywhere he could every time he could. Especially to a weeknight service at church. This way he watched his father interact as a respectful man in many situations. When he could he even took our son to work with him. Watching a grown man you care about and admire worship and praise the Lord has much influence on a young boy. Our son is 8 yrs. old now and very respectful. So simple they will work for attention good or bad.
I too had only a sister. When I found myself with three sons and only one daughter, I had to learn very quickly to get used to the noise and activity that boys have. One thing that I had to work on when the two youngest boys would disagree nad fight is to not take sides and guide them to work it out for themselves. Now that they are older I tell them to take it out to the backyard and run it off.
I’m so glad you brought up this book! I have been eyeing it for a few months and would really like to read it. We have two boys, 2 years and 9 months old. Before they were born, I assumed I would have girls, because I didn’t know what to do with boys! Now that we have our boys, I am so delighted, I would rejoice over as many boys as God cares to give us.
I am eager for any resource that can equip us to better serve our children’s unique needs.
I’d love to receive a copy of this book. Life with boy is way different than life with girls!
OOh what a great looking book. My question is regarding a little brother that never feels like he really has any talent or skills because of always comparing to an older brother.
I would love to win a copy of this book! My friend Crazy Mom recently reviewed this one and that is where I first heard of it. The best way we have found to deal with the adventure/recklessness element to boyhood is to put our eldest son in Scouts! He is bridging over to Boy Scouts in a few weeks and it has been a great experience for him!
I would love to be entered for this book. My question is, how do you encourage masculinity in a boy (5yo) who has only sisters? His dad is a strong, wonderful leader, but his work takes many hours a day. Also, Dad was deployed for a year, when our son was just a baby. This early absence seems to be something we still deal with in the relationship between my son and husband. How do we encourage a strong bond between them?
God has rescued us from a verbally/emotionally and ultimately physically abusive situation, and now I am more or less my son (16) and daughter’s (13) only parent. My question involves how I can be a ‘father’ of sorts to my highly intelligent son, who very much questions all the foundational truths I have taught him since birth. We have not as yet really connected with effective ‘big brother’ types (even at church), and so I am still in a position of needing to be both parents.
This book would truly be a blessing. I am a single parent trying my best to raise up a godly young man. Thankfully we have some wonderful men in our church that work with the boys in our church. But I do not want to depend only on others to teach him. That is why God gave him to me. And it sometimes very hard because my father worked away from home while I was growing up. And now due to his illness, I am his care-giver, but he is not the same person he use to be. So my son does not see a godly father image in our home.
I would love to have this book. I have 3 sons, 3 nephews, 2 brothers… you get the picture. There are no girls! I want to raise my boys to be men, not sissies.
How do we inspire boys to stay pure until they are married?
Thanks for all your support — it’s the little encouragements that help keep us smiling with the challenges of twin sons plus a third son! Thanks for the opportunity for this entry.
We have 5 children 4 girls and 1 boy. My boy, believe it or not, is my best helper and mostly my easiest child… If I can continue to teach him and help guide him to become a true man of God – he will make an absolutely wonderful husband and a great soldier of the Lord!
I thought God gave me boys because I am such a tomboy, but I still do not understand them
This book would be wonderful read.
We have 7 boys age 17 to 5 months. My question would be how to encourage them to work together better. They get along fine in twos, but quarrel in threes or more. Thanks for entering me.
This definitely sounds like what I am needing to use with my sons. Thanks for the opportunity to win.
Other good books to consider:
Boyhood and Beyond: Practical Wisdom for Becoming a Man by Bob Schultz
Created for Work: Practical Insights for Young Men by Bob Schultz
I am extremely blessed to have (2) sons. The main struggle we have is with them occasionally fighting with one another. They can get quite rough and I am needed to break them up. Any suggestions? We do always try to remind them of what God’s word says.
I am always wondering how I discern between misbehavior and normal boy stuff. He’s got lots of energy, curiosity, and drive for adventure. How do I channel that positively without stifling his growing masculinity?
I would love to be entered to win this book. It sounds EXACTLY like something I’d like to read, but with funds as they are right now… Well, everybody’s having to cut back a lot I know. I have 2 boys, 13 & 9, and some of the things they come up with… Lord preserve me! I also have an 8yr old girl who is so totally different… I have each of my children working on learning projects that they can do independently. The oldest does woodworking, the youngest needlework. But my sweet middle child is severely dyslexic & I have no CLUE what kind of project to give him that he could do on his own since so much involves lots of READING to do. Suggestions?
I never win these things. LOL.
But you know my boy and I’d love to get some insight! =D
I have 4 sons. One of the greatest things I did as a mom was to teach my boys that Daddy coming home is the best part of their day. When the boys were babies, I would whisper Daddy’s Home! Daddy’s Home! As they got older, we’d drop everything and run to the door when we heard him come in. Now, he works quite far from home, so calls us when he is close, and we all run out to the end of the driveway to great him, brandishing swords, wearing costumes, with dogs in tow. When friends are over, they come too. It is our family tradition, and my oldest, now 17, still joins in the fun.
I have three girls, then a boy, then another boy, and now we are expecting another girl. Unfortunatly after we adopted our children our oldest daughter proved to be challenging and Im afraid we had to deal with her leaving our other children to themselves a bit. They are all wonderful children and I thank God for his mercy during that time.
My oldest son who is 6 is very artistic and sensitive. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but somethings he says or does makes us worry sometimes.
We are now actively seeking resources for how to raise godly sons. This book sounds perfect for our resource library.
I would love to be entered for this book. I have a 9 year old son(and two older daughters). My question is how to raise him to be “strong and courageous (Josh. 1:9)” when he is fearful of a lot of things. He is around only us females 90% of the time and his dad physically works very hard and is not up to spending a lot of one on one time with him when he is home. Thanks for offering this!