How One Mom is Teaching Respect
October 29, 2010
A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents
will not have true respect for anyone.
~Billy Graham
Respect is such an important character trait, not only for children, but also for adults. The sooner a person learns respect the easier it will be for them as they grow older. Respect is not always deserved, but it is required. Respect does not always flow easily, but it needs to be encouraged.
Show me someone who shows respect regardless of the situation and I’ll show you a person full of self control!
We live in such a selfish culture that stomps it’s feet demanding it’s voice be the loudest, and that any wrong doing is justified! Respect is always demanded and rarely given. This is a shame!
I received this e-mail yesterday from a mom of 10 (most are adopted) in Canada:
We are now concentrating on listening skills and polite behavior to parents (honoring). One of my daughters wandered away from me while talking. She is 14 now and was adopted at 9 from one of the worst situations her two social workers had ever seen. She is now a very strong Christian, a very good student, studying grade six in piano, grade six in violin (belongs to an orchestra), skiis well, skates, sews, bakes and is kind and good to her siblings (and beautiful to boot!). She was asked to write down the correct way to speak to parents and this is what she wrote:
“To talk to parents politely, you have to stand up straight and look them in the eye. This shows them that you have all your attention on them. Don’t slouch, or shift your feet or twiddle your fingers, because this is disrespectful. You must not mumble. Talk clearly, and loud, otherwise, you go through the routine of pardon me’s and repeats. Say it once, clearly, and show honor.
Never turn away or walk out of a room while talking to a parent. It may make them angry that you are not being polite.
God has said to honor your parents and to respect them. So stand straight, look them in the eye, stay where you are, and talk clearly.”
This young lady has learned the importance of respect. She has learned how to show it not only with her words, but with her body language. Her parents are teaching her the importance of honor and she WILL carry this her whole life; on into her marriage and all other relationships. What a blessing to hear of parents taking their duty of teaching character seriously. We need more polite children, and even more so, polite adults in this world! What a blessing she will be to everyone she encounters!
Topics: Character Lesson | 5 Comments »
Comments (5)
Excellent!
This is so true. Children and adults both need to learn respect. Susan
Hi,
I think this mom has done a wonderful job in 5 years’ time! She has definitely taught this daughter what respectful behavior looks like. I will use that description.
One question I have is, “Was this daughter walking away while talking to the mom and had to write this down as a consequence to correct that behavior?” I ask because we are struggling right now with some disrespect from my 10 yo dd and I’m wondering what consequences to use and when to apply them. She’s a very emotional child, so in the heat of the moment I could very easily exacerbate her negative emotions by reacting wrongly myself. Any advice?
Thanks!
Teresa,
Hi! I, too, have an emotional, disrespectful, extremely sensitive child (8 y/o) and would LOVE to hear the advice/tips you receive because I also “in the heat of the moment I could very easily exacerbate her negative emotions by reacting wrongly myself” (you put it SO well!).
A quote from Tonia Brown of ‘Study in Brown’ spoke what she and I experience: “a girl who is overwhelmed in public situations, so busy processing lights and sounds and textures and emotions and people that the simplest of transactions becomes a maze of dizzying choices.
A girl who needs the shelter of a quiet room…”
I appreciate what YOU wrote and thank everyone in advance who gives us help.
Eager to see God continue to work in our lives (Gentle Smile). ♥
HveHope *-:¦:-
-:¦:-¸¸.·´*
(source: Pastor Tim Gilmore)
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Dietrich Bonhoeffer, theologian who was martyred by the Nazi’s during WW2 … and this is what it means to be a community and we are a Christ body and we are this to one another:
“The Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth. He needs his brother as a bearer and proclaimer of the divine word of salvation.”
~ as quoted by Ann Voskamp
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I think the key here, and in most situations, is to plan ahead. Decide ahead a time what will be the consequence for disrespect. This way you will have a plan and the child knows what to expect. This will help remove the emotion from the situation.