Don’t Make Their Life Too Easy

July 22, 2010

How often do you hear parents say that they want their children to have it better than they did? That they want to give them all they can?

We love our children and we do want to and should give our kids good gifts, but that does not mean that we should make life too easy for them.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is tell your child, “No”.  The real world is full of disappointments and it is good for them to learn to be flexible and receive disappointment gracefully.

If you have a child that pouts, complains or throws a fit because plans get changed or they don’t get what they want, then YOU the parent have some training to do. The longer you wait to train in this area the harder parenting will become. How will this child react to the hard things in life;  in their future jobs and marriages if they are not able to handle disappointment with the right attitude?

The training in flexibility and self control starts at a very early age.

Yesterday I went into three stores; in each store there were young children 3-4 years old behaving very badly.

In one store I was there for about an hour, there was a 4 (?) year old walking next to his mother CRYING THE WHOLE TIME. The mother just did her shopping ignoring him. It really wasn’t the child I had a problem with, it was the mother. It was obvious the child needed SOMETHING!  Unless there is some intervention what kind of teen will this child be? More than likely he will ignore his mother by that point. When he gets a job he’ll be the one complaining the whole time; and Lord help the woman that marries him.

There are times your children will need to hear the word, “No”, not just about material goods, but also activities, whether it be sports, clubs or social gatherings. They need to know that the world is not all bout them.  Some activities/lessons are good and needful, but when parents spend all their ‘non-work’ time running children from one event to the next, not to mention all the money spent, the children grow up thinking that everyone else’s schedule should revolve around them. This is not good.

Children need to be flexible when plans change, just as adults do. Children need to consider what is best for the whole family when committing to outside activities and expenses. Nurture in them a spirit of ‘others first’, rather than ‘looking out for #1′, this will equip them with discretion for life! He will be the kind of man that will consider what is best for his wife and children before he indulges himself with more ‘stuff’.

If there is an activity that they want to be involved in, let them pay for it in full, or at least in part. This gives them a vested interest. Our girls take voice lessons, they each pay 1/4 of the lesson, their dad pays the other half. This causes them to take practice seriously.  They have not paid for everything growing up, we’ve paid for years and years of piano lessons, but now that they are older and making  money they need to be responsible with it. Recently Emma took part in a drama camp, she paid the whole fee from her money, it was important to her and was willing to invest her money for it.

It is not a bad thing to teach your children responsibility and discernment. When they are 10-12 years old, start handing over more responsibility, not only in chores, but also in time management and their finances.

There is a reason why we have a bunch of 20 and 30 year old kids sitting around, not holding down a job nor taking care of their illegitimate children., someone makes life too easy for them!

Topics: Responsibility | 5 Comments »