I know this is a title you thought you would never see on THIS blog.
Our church is a fairly young church, it’s only been established for about 12 years, and it is mostly younger families with children coming to marrying age within the last few years.
What a great joy it is to watch as God brings couples together for His glory, and how beautiful it is when we in the Body of Christ can stand shoulder to shoulder with our brothers and sister to encourage them in this holy sacrament.
Living the Christian life is not meant to be lived alone. None of us are the Lone Ranger, nor are we an island secluded from everyone else. We NEED each other. God does not call us the Body of Christ (singular), yet made up of many parts (plural) for no reason.
Our culture, in it’s boldness, is constantly defining relationships, marriage and intimacy, and it has totally perverted it!
Relationships, marriage and intimacy are GOD’S CREATIONS! He gave us all these things for our good and His glory. All of them take work, a dying to self and in that dying to self we must turn to God so we can have JOY in His gifts!
The word’s view of relationships, marriage and intimacy is selfish and dirty…down right nasty! Living out our relationships as defined by the world will never leave us satisfied.
So this is WHY my friend and I have chosen to host lingerie showers for the new brides. One of the consequences of so many broken families is that the older (should be wiser) people are not there to set an example or encourage God honoring relationships.
It’s not up to the depraved world to teach our new couples, it’s up to us. We should be the ones encouraging healthy and holy marriages, and a huge part of that is intimacy! God talks about it, He created it, so why shouldn’t we encourage it?
Now before you get the wrong idea about our showers, lower your eyebrows and trust me, we do not talk about the details of intimacy and we only invite ladies that are married or are marrying age.
We keep it classy and relaxed.
(Hear the soft music in the background?)
For this shower we did some Mexican food, those are chips in the little buckets.
Each guest took home a candle and lotion.
We usually sit around the table and each lady will give the bride a word of advice. Again we never talk about details and our conversation is full of discretion. It is much more about the heart of intimacy. Here are a few pieces of advice that were given to this sweet and pure bride:
- “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Never go to bed angry.”
- “Don’t ever use intimacy to manipulate your husband, especially withholding.”
- “Keep your bedroom free of distractions such as clutter, TV, etc… Keep it your special place, make it ‘inviting’.”
- “Don’t read books that were written for men (what a man should be), because it will cause you to become discontent with him. You should read books about what a wife should be.” (Obviously from a Biblical view)
- My piece of advice for her – “The most important rooms in your home are the kitchen and the bedroom. If you make those rooms priority, keeping your husband in mind, then you are well on your way to a happy marriage.”
This is what I gave her.
Then we have a fun time of opening gifts with beautiful, classy, not trashy lingerie! This is usually filled with lots of laughter! And if one is not sure what to buy as far as lingerie you can give a basket of fun stuff like a bottle of wine, wine glasses, cheese and crackers, chocolates, massage oils, lotions, etc…
These shower are also a reminder to us ‘older’ wives to keep things spiced up and special for our husbands.
So let us be bold about the goodness of our Lord! Let us encourage each other in holiness…even in intimacy. This belongs to the Lord not the perverted world!
Kathy
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Anita Chamblee says:
Thank you for this post. I have a daughter who will be married in just three weeks and this would have been a wonderful blessing for her. I did notice a couple of misspellings that I think are distracting. I think the spelling is lingerie…I have also seen it loungerie. “our conversation is full of desecration” I think you meant discretion…. Thank you so much for your ministry. I have a few of your DVDs that my 13yod enjoys.
Kim M says:
Very beautiful setting, and what a blessing to those new brides.
tammy says:
Good Post Kathy. I love the suggestions ,those are great for anyone as reminders or to teach. Lord Bless you~
Barbara says:
Fabulous idea! Sure wish someone would have been thinking these thoughtful and appropriate things when I was a bride 28 years ago. I will keep your idea in the back of my head for the future; it may come in handy.
Not sure I’ve ever commented here, but I do follow your blog and have for a few years. I’m so excited about your new journey with the young children – what a blessing for you and them!