Birthdays and Knowing Grace! « Family Tidbits « Teaching Good Things

Birthdays and Knowing Grace!

April 20, 2010

22 years ago today I gave birth to our son. He filled our hearts and arms about a year after the death of my first child. God has been so very good, not to replace, but to increase.

Little did I know then just how much God would teach me about Himself through this boy/man. At that point of my life I knew very little about God, I knew He was God and that Jesus was the savior, but to say that Jesus was Lord of my life? No! I was lord. I said I was a Christian, but as far as seeking out how God said I was to live was not even on my radar. When I look back at how Jeff and I lived then…thinking we were good people, etc… I am ABSOLUTELY AMAZED how God drew us to Himself and has slowly and patiently sanctified us…and is still sanctifying us.

When I think back on our son’s birth remembering what my hopes and dreams were for him…for us, I see now that they were so empty. I wanted children because I wanted a family… a big, happy family. I figured we’d love him, raise him and live happily ever after. lol… If only life were THAT simple.

I had NO CLUE that parenting was so hard, and I certainly did not realize that it was not about ME! I did not realize that having children was not to make “me happy”; that was part of me being lord of my life.

Having children is only possible by God’s grace, and once you realize they actually belong to God and He is simply entrusting you with them for a little while it changes your perspective. When you start to understand Jesus’ Lordship in the world and in your life; that there are things He commands us to do and not to do, it changes our whole approach of raising children and living as a family. Hoping that your children reach 18, drug free, not pregnant, not in jail and holding down a job… is NOT what God has in mind!

My life is not even close to what I thought it would be 22 years ago… it is better! My life is not close to what I thought it would be even 10 years ago… it is very different. I know God better because of what He has taught me and still teaching me through parenting. It is actually the times that have been the hardest that I have seen God more clearly. How can He love ‘my’ children more than I do? Because He is Perfect Love! How can He continually draw us (me) in spite of our pride and rebellion? I don’t know, but He does! And for that I am thankful!