Comments on: Before We Give Our Daughters in Marriage

By: Before He Cleaves | Chelsey's Journey

Before He Cleaves | Chelsey's Journey — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 08:27:29 +0000

[...] you read any further I want to make clear this is just a list that we are aiming for, as is the list for our daughters. This list may change a little as time goes on. Our only true requirements for our children to [...]

By: clare

clare — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 14:13:28 +0000

Thanks Debbie, am with you on that!… “however, the most important ones, the character traits, esp. submission, gentleness, and meekness. were not on the list of goals for my parents, nor for myself as a young adult. This made for a very difficult transition when my husband and I married, and a life of difficulty after becoming a parent.”
i was brought up the same way and I pray to God that my children get it whilst there young. Trying to train them in the way they should go….. Any practical adivse and tips on how you are training them delibratly on these particular chracter traits?

By: Tiffany (As For My House)

Tiffany (As For My House) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 01:30:01 +0000

Wow, this is a wonderful list to help everyone stay on the right track.

I sure wish I’d had an upbringing like this! It’s sure a challenge to try to unlearn bad habits, learn new skills, and play catch up as an adult with children…

By: S

Sat, 02 Jan 2010 18:18:16 +0000

Debbie, Your comments are so true. Most skills can be learned relatively quickly, but Godly character is really what counts. I’m not saying to just ignore life skills and book knowledge, but the main emphasis of parenting must be in the character building area. A solid foundation must be laid. Other skills and academics can then be slowly added to the mix, but still the goal should be maintaining Godly character DURING the learning process instead of just focusing on the end result of learning a skill or academic knowledge. I always think of the verse “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his own soul?” I certainly want my children to have many skills and be smart, but if they do not use their talents and intelligence to glorify God, then it’s all for naught.

By: Debbie

Debbie — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 15:58:57 +0000

Much of this I learned as a child/teen. Unfortunately, however, the most important ones, the character traits, esp. submission, gentleness, and meekness. were not on the list of goals for my parents, nor for myself as a young adult. This made for a very difficult transition when my husband and I married, and a life of difficulty after becoming a parent.

All those other items are very important practical skills and yet can be learned w/ a book or a mentor once grown. Godly character, however, requires lifelong effort on both the part of the parent and the child.

I praise and thank the Lord that He accepts me where I am and works with me to become a better wife and mother, however, when I fail (which was often when they were young and impressionable) it makes a lasting impression on my children who are now fighting many of the same “demons” due to my poor example.

Please, ladies, make time for character training while your children are young. And if you are in the same boat as me, pray for God’s grace to allow the flesh to be put down and to daily “put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him.”

Thanks Kathy for your list and your wonderful encouragement.

By: clare

clare — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 02:31:06 +0000

Lovely post!. I dont suppose you have age related growth goals. My daughter is a (mature for her age ) 6 yr old I think. But I would be interested in knowing what skills you suggest to aim for in terms of age.

By: Kim M

Kim M — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 18:58:43 +0000

I am looking forward to seeing your list for fellas as well!

By: Kim M

Kim M — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 18:45:07 +0000

Wow! Like others who commented, I wish I had learned those things myself before I got married.

By: Gill

Gill — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 17:33:50 +0000

Thanks for this thoughtful list. My dear daughter is still only 9 but I totally agree with starting training early. I have some years to go yet but little by little she is learning some of these things already. I shall be keeping this list by me to encourage us on. Happy New Year. Gill.

By: Katharine

Katharine — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 17:14:23 +0000

Thank you!! this is a wonderful list of things to know and to teach! I’m waiting for the pdf file to print out to!

By: Shannon

Shannon — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 17:07:37 +0000

Kathy….

Your encouragement is contagious. THANK YOU!

Shannon

By: Kathy

Kathy — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:58:12 +0000

I’ll create a PDF later today. Good idea!

By: RG

RG — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:22:30 +0000

How can I print this? Guess I need to work on my computer skills!

By: Shannon - Living Life at Home

Shannon - Living Life at Home — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:12:39 +0000

With my oldest daughter heading into her teens soon, I’ve been thinking a lot about what we have left to work on as far as being prepared for adulthood andthe most important roles she’ll have – as a wife and mother. I’m printing off this list and adding it to our homeschool goals/requirements notebook.

Thank you for sharing it!
…Shannon

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 02:17:31 +0000

I can do all that stuff, except for the HTML. I’d add to the list being able to do some simple electrical wiring like changing out a light switch or change the plug on a lamp. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to do stuff like that. (Thanks 4-H Electric!). It’s saved us lots of money by not having to hire things done and not having to junk things (like lamps) just because it stops working.

Blessings–
Dana

By: Paula

Paula — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 13:36:14 +0000

This is a great list! I’ve been married 20 years and I am about half way through learning some of the things you want your daughters to learn before they get married! I didn’t know anything. My poor dh, he had to eat many yucky dinners when we first married. It’s stuff of legends LOL.

By: Stephenie

Stephenie — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 03:59:29 +0000

Great list! Thanks so much. I see areas where I could use some improvement myself.