Teaching children the importance of hard work and diligence in all areas of life will bring them a satisfaction that no dollar amount can bring them. This is a parent's duty. Children, young and old, need to be given task to do at home, at church and in their community. This brings them a sense of value, knowing that they are essential to making things run smoothly, and that they CAN make a difference. When children (and adults, as far as that goes) do not apply some blood, sweat and tears to a cause, then it holds no value to them.
Especially in the home, each person needs to know that they are important and appreciated, but words of appreciation are meaningless unless the child has done something worthy of the encouragement. Each task does not need to be done perfectly, in fact this will take years of love and training on behalf of the parents, with the main purpose of getting them involved and training their heart for service. It is our job to teach our children their job, show them where they fit in in the family, church and community. A child that is consumed primarily with his/her own pleasures will grow up thinking the world revolves around them, they willing to accept all hand outs (including welfare) and then become angry because it was not good enough. There is little gratitude or satisfaction when everything is given with no effort by the recipient. Nothing grows good character in children (and adults) better than putting in long, hard hours and reaping the reward of that hard work. Not that children should work hard all day long, but they do need to know their duty and do it with a good attitude. They need to know that their work has value even if it is not always rewarded with money. Help them to find joy in their labor. SELF- esteem is not about building a child up with flattering words, self-esteem is teaching a child to know their duty and to do their duty. SELF-esteem is about teaching children (and adults) to put their SELFish desires aside and to serve others, to build others up. It is when we die to ourselves and live for others that we find purpose and joy here on earth and build up those treasures in heaven.
Let us not confuse a works-based-love from parents. Love is unconditional. Children need to know they are loved no matter what. The key to having a good work attitude is encouragement! Let them know you are pleased when they are trying their best. Let them know their actions are bringing glory to God, even when it is work they may not enjoy. Speak many more words of encouragement than criticisms.
At Home: Each child needs to know what is expected of them, without putting too heavy of a load on them. If a child is old enough to drag the toys out, then he can be taught (with alot of patience from the parents) to put them back. Boys and girls both need to know what it takes to run a household smoothly. Remember many hands makes the load light.
At Church: Even the youngest can have a task to. They can straighten the hymnals after worship, if nothing else just in their pew. All children can help pick up papers, empty trash, greet people with a smile and say hello, etc… Teens can offer to help with younger children so parents can visit. Families can offer to clean the church once a month, help with a newsletter, start a food pantry…the list goes on and on.
In the Community: Small children can be taught to pray for their elected officials, policemen and firemen, and bake them some cookies. Older children can look for elderly people that need some special attention, whether it be a visit, a meal or yard work. Is there a children's home close by that could use a food or clothing drive? They can do roadside litter pick up. There are countless ways that children can serve their community.
ALL of these areas take consistent training on behalf of the parents. And each family has their seasons of just how much they can do outside the home. Concentrate on the training at home, then slowly as time allows, add outside projects. Teaching children to know their duty and do their duty takes about 15-20 years, but it is so worth it! They will grow up knowing that they are important, but only if they are willing to be a servant first.
Children who feast on self indulgence of constant TV, sports, videos, peers, etc… usually end up being self indulgent adults that have no clue how to humble themselves to serve others.
Mark 9:35And he (Jesus) sat down, and called the twelve, and saith unto them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all.